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Cryptocurrency Jokes

There's this new cryptocurrency called Decibel. You just yell in your microphone to get money...

It's a sound investment.

How do you get $1000 in cryptocurrency?

Invest $2000

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Catholics make so much money with stocks and cryptocurrency?

Because they have perfected when to pull out.

Somebody today was explaining to me how the cryptocurrency market was changing, even though I already knew

It was a bit coin descending

What’s the easiest way to become a cryptocurrency millionaire?

>!Start as a cryptocurrency billionaire and hodl. !<

Cryptocurrency is crashing so bad . . .

that I heard ransomware gangs are demanding payment in rubles!

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each...

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of th...

I've got a friend who's starting a podcast talking about cryptocurrency every evening.

She's really sure of herself. She's calling the podcast "De-Fi Nitely".

Facebook's launching its own cryptocurrency next year called Libra...

missed opportunity to call it zuck buck

What is an assasin’s favourite cryptocurrency payment method?

Hitcoin

What do cryptocurrency investors do for fun

They YODL

Spent some cryptocurrency to take digital possession of an image of Gandalf killing the Balrog of Morgoth...

My first non-fungible Tolkien.

Have you heard of the rapper showing off cryptocurrency?

He calls himself blockchainz.


PS. Please be forviging. Haha!

What's a corpse's favorite currency?

Cryptocurrency

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why couldn't the blood invest in Bitcoin?

It's a Cryptocurrency. Now give me karma my wife left me, I lost custody of my kids and I just lost my job. I'm about one more thing from snapping, for the love of fucking god upvote this damn post.

How many cryptocurrency holders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Trick question. It never gets changed. The bulb is purchased but sits in the box for years until it’s useless.

How does a vampire pay the mortgage?

With cryptocurrency

What kind of money do Bloods use?

Cryptocurrency.

My grandfather passed away and didn't leave me much, only 20,000 Dogecoin.

He wanted to be interred in a mausoleum. Luckily, the undertaker accepts Cryptocurrency.

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