UPJOKE
crunchcracklingcracklewarecrepitatecrepitationscranchscraunchnoisefancycrackle chinathudcrumpdecrepitationblarestaccato

Crackling Jokes

Yoda is piloting a 747...

Radio tower: Flight 90 you seem to be veering away from your designated flight path. Stay on course. Over.

Yoda: Instrument panels, working not.

Radio tower: Flight 90, stay on course. Is everything okay? Over.

Yoda: Too many clouds, there are.

Radio tower: Flight 90. Ma...

Did you hear about that guy that lost his ear in a construction accident?

They reconstructed it from pig skin, the sound quality is good but there's still a little bit of crackling...

A poem, with a title at the end

Darkness, silence, cool serene morning
Daybreak not yet piercing the shades
Crackling, popping, cut through the nothing
Shoulders tense, poised for responding
Electricity in fibers, pushing up against gravity
Hands sinking inward, but head rising lightly
Head tossed sideways and ey...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do you think we are here?

John, Paul, and Bill sit around a campfire.

John turns to Paul, and asks him "Why do you think we are here?"

Paul says "Man, I wonder that all the time. Some people think we exist on Earth in purgatory. We suffer here through the trials and tribulations of life in order to determine if...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A state of the art fighter jet with a sentient navigation computer malfunctioned and went into a tailspin

The human pilot realized it was unrecoverable and shouted, "Computer, initiate automated ejection sequence."

After a long silence, the computer responded, "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."

Smirking, the crafty, old-school pilot muttered, "I knew the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy gets off a long 12 hour shift at the mill

as he walks out to the parking lot to get in his beat up old pickup, he sees a high end sports car pull up with the exhaust crackling. It’s his boss inside. “nice car boss” he says. Boss says “ yeah it is and If you come to work every day, work hard and bust your ass I’ll be able to afford another o...

Bill Gates suddenly dies...

...and finds himself face to face with God.
God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused
on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send
you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously
by putting a computer in almost every home in A...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.