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Cornfield Jokes

Who polices cornfields?

The Crops

I want to open a new labrynth in a cornfield

I plan to call it the Amazing Maize Maze!
Apologies for the corny joke...

Why are cornfields the best listeners?

They're all ears

What did the spy say to his informant in the cornfield?

Careful there are ears all around us

A blond woman drives by a cornfield.

While driving, she looks out her window and saw that in the middle of the cornfield was another blond woman, sitting in a boat, and rowing as if the boat was in water.

The blond in the car was amazed by what a stupid thing she was looking at. So she stops her car, gets out, and yells "It's bl...

A Blonde in a Cornfield

A blonde was on her way home from work when she saw a fellow blonde rowing a canoe in the middle of a cornfield. Outraged she pulls her car over and runs to the side of the road closest to where the canoe is. At the top of her lungs she yells "HEY! IT'S BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE US BLONDES A BAD NA...

A neckbeard was brutally murdered in a cornfield

It was very M'Cob

What does a worm do in a cornfield?

It goes in one ear and out the other

Why can't you keep a secret in a cornfield?

There's too many ears

What did the farmer say when he heard the town gossiping about his cornfield fire?

"My ears are burning!"

My dad and I were in a field husking corn

Years ago we were out in the cornfield. Then I start complaining about somebody for a bit.

My dad: you know you shouldn't say those things about them in this field

Me: why?

My dad: there's a lot of ears out here

Emo Philips posted his favourite Judy Tenuta joke in honor of her passing:

My favorite Judy Tenuta story: after a show, the comic who opened for her is driving her to their next gig; as they re passing cornfields at 2 AM he asks, "So what did you think of my act" & she replies,
"Ask me again when we get a bit closer to town"

Godspeed, Judy Tenuta.

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A joke from Ukraine

The train suddenly turns off the rails and goes through the village, then through the cornfield and finally comes back to the rails. When it arrives, the passengers ask:
What the hell has happened?

There was a man shitting on the rails.

You should've smashed him.

We have smas...

A salesman was traveling through the country side, flogging insect repellent.

He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer.
“Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it.”
The farmer was dubious.
“Young man, I’ll make you a proposition. I’ll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray.
If there is ...

The governor of Florida had enough

The governor of Florida had enough of the Florida jokes. It was affecting their tourism and he was always made fun of at the annual governor softball tournament. He sat in his office all day and thought of ways how to change this.

One day, the governor of Alabama called. It was a social call...

What did the farmer say to the corn that was being difficult?

Go shuck yourself.


What did the mom say to her child walking through the cornfield?

Watch out for stalkers.


Sorry for all the corny jokes.

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Two aliens are trying to figure out how to infiltrate earth to blend in...

They spend a lot of time watching how people go about their lives and decide the first thing they need to do to exist and blend is get money to thrive. They land their spaceship in a cornfield and walk to the closest place they can find, a gas station. They walk up to the gas pump and demand it give...

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So I go hunting with a bit of a snobby friend of mine...

On a nice summer day I go hunting with my snobby friend (his first time) on the countryside. Almost 6 hours pass and we haven't seen a single bird before we see this pheasant running out of a cornfield into this grass field. My friend doesn't hesitate and and shoots the bird.
My friend runs up to...

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Back in the day, Chicago was run by the Irish mob

Now, before the Italian mob took over- I'm sure you all know Al Capone, Frank Nitti, Lucky Luciano, and the like- Prohibition era Chicago was run by the Irish mob.

The Irish gangs owned Chicago outright for a solid 18 months after Prohibition went into effect, before police raids, pressure fr...

blonde joke

A blonde woman was driving by a cornfield and saw a different blonde woman in the middle of the field in a canoe trying to row through the field. The woman in the car slammed on the brakes and rolled down her window "you know it's blondes like you that make blondes like me look bad and if I could sw...

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Ping Pong Balls

Four friends are driving down the road when suddenly they see this beautiful girl out in the middle of a cornfield.

They approach the girl in their truck and decide to get out. They start flirting with the girl, talking over each other so they can win her over when suddenly an old beat down ...

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