This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The man with a corkscrew dick

This is the story of runaway Rick,

The only man with a corkscrew dick,

He searched the world from pole to pole,

To find a woman with a corkscrew hole,

The day he found her he nearly dropped dead,

The woman he found had a left hand thread.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Corkscrew dick

Ed and Ted are standing at the urinals in a public lavatory when Ed glances over and notices that Ted's dick is twisted like a corkscrew.

"Jesus," Ed says. "I've never seen one like that before."

"Like what?" Ted asks.

"All twisted like a pig's tail," Ed says.

"Why? What'...

English lord returns home and finds his wife in bed with her lover...

... He quietly leaves the room, and calls the butler:

\- John, could you please bring me my saber.

John brings the saber. The lord takes it and enters the bedroom. A few seconds later he comes out, wiping the saber with a handkerchief, and tells the butler:

\- John, please bring...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Duck: how much for that dildo?

**me** *[holding a corkscrew]:* w-what?

2 members of the Swiss army get in to a knife fight,

then a corkscrew fight then a twezzer fight then a ......

A couple went to the county fair.

They ate all the food and rode all the rides. When it came time to leave the woman asked her husband if there was anything else he wanted to do. "I would like to take a ride in that airplane, but it costs $20." She replied "20 dollars is 20 dollars."
He nodded sagely and they went home.

Ne...

Earl and Peggy had been married 50 years

Every year they'd attend the county fair and every year Earl would look at Peggy and say, "Look at those planes! I'd love to ride one of those planes.."
And every year Peggy would reply, "Yea, but it costs $10, and $10 is $10!"

Finally, the year came of Earl's 75th birthday. They go to the...

"You are beautiful, but you're not what I'm looking for right now."

"What are you looking for?"

"A corkscrew"

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The plumbers lament

My Grandpa told me this one & is by far a favorite:
There once was a man named Harry Dick,
Who was cursed at birth with a corkscrewed prick,
He searched his life in a futile hunt,
To find a girl with a corkscrewed cunt, The day he found he drop stone cold dead,
God damn thing ...

Fighter jock and the cargo pilot

A cargo plane is flying along, doing its cargo plane thing, when a fighter jet comes up alongside.

The fighter jock decides to poke some fun at the pilot who's forced to fly such an ungainly vessel.

"My plane's so much more advanced than yours. Watch this" says the jock, as he proceed...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

An American man and his son went on vacation to Finland.

When they arrived, a cab driver greeted them at the airport. "What should we do on our first day here," the father asked his son, excitedly. The driver interjected, "Well, if you're not natives, I'd suggest the roller coaster that teaches your or language." Confused, the father and son look at one a...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The perverted pianist

A classy bar is holding auditions for musical numbers, when a somewhat disheveled man comes in and starts playing a beautiful number on the grand piano. The manager adores his performance, "Is that an original number? What is the name of that lovely piece?"


"Yeah, I wrote it," the man rep...

Car Crash

A man and a women are involved in a car crash while driving down the highway. They both get out of their cars to talk. The woman exclaims, 'Oh thank God that neither of us were injured in this wreck, surely this is a miracle!' to which the man replies, 'yes, look at both of our cars, they're destr...

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