When he gets there, he is confused to find everyone furiously cracking eggs, dumping flour, and mixing batter.
He turns around and sees an entire section dedicated to decoration, with elaborate concoctions of cherries, frosting, and tiering at every station.
Finally, he sees someone wh...
A man is walking home alone late one foggy night... when behind him he hears:
Bump.... BUMP... BUMP....
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP... BUMP... BUMP....
A young minister was visiting the homes of his church community. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. So, he took out a business card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering w...
Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.
It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet...
I turned to my wife last night
I turned to my wife last night and said ......."I'm into anal".
She gave me a look of despair, glared at me and then said "Animal".
I just love it when we do the cryptic crossword together!
My brother went to prison after robbing a bank but the police never found the money.
He managed to get access to a cellphone and kept sending me cryptic messages about where he hid the money. Eventually, I found it. When my wife asked me how I found it, I explained:
“I followed the con-text clues.”
In the darkest hours of World War II, a British Commando unit was waiting to go behind enemy lines into Norway
During the planning of the mission, it was decided that their rifles would need protective covers against the extreme cold of Norway. The contract to manufacture the covers was given to a pharmaceutical company that also manufactured condoms.
Before the Commandos deployed, Winston Churchill p...
Roman Numerals are very interesting... [LONG JOKE]
You turn on the radio one morning to find another one of those Rap songs where every 4th word is a swear. Naturally the Radio bleeps it out, but you realize that it sounds familiar. You realize that the rappers are speaking in Morse code.
Your eyes widen as you swerve over onto the shoulder ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Recently, I've managed to get really into crosswords.
Like those really cryptic ones you get in the weekend papers, with clues like 'fish worn on head, (5, 7,)', and stuff like that. I get really intense about them, though, and can't stand starting a new one until I've finished the last one. I refuse to use dictionaries and things on principle, and I'l...
Why is it so hard to read inscriptions in tombs?
Because it’s very cryptic
A police officer just intercepted a secret message between two major gangs...
The message simply said: 5310H55V 0113H
Curious, he tried to decipher it but gave up after a few hours, and asked the rest of his police department if they could help.
After a few days of code cracking, the police department gave up, and sent the cryptic message to the FBI. The bright...