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Commercials Jokes

The girl I brought home last weekend didn't seem impressed by my collection of beer commercials

Apparently, she'd misunderstood when I told her I had six-pack ads

Pill commercials nowadays be like

“After just one use, derpatine fixed my knee pain and I can run again!”

“Consult a doctor if you’re experiencing any headaches, nausea, muscle pain, blurry vision, nasal congestion, loss of sight, kidney failure, hernia, heart attacks, strokes or knee pain after using derpatine”

I hate seeing commercials for new TVs

Every time I think I need a new TV, I see a commercial for one. As they’re raving about how fantastic the picture is, I think, ‘Yeah, it DOES look great, my TV must be fine!’ That being said, I think I will buy one if they ever come out in color.

Why was Lance Armstrong in so many commercials?

Because he was good at Peddling things.

What’s up with John Cena doing so many voiceovers for commercials lately?

I mean, I think it’s John Cena’s voice, but I don’t know for sure since I can’t see him…

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If porn had commercials

Dont bust your nut we will be back after a short break

Perfume commercials make no sense

They have no relation to the program or chanel

According to commercials, women are like Picasso.

They have a blue period.

What I hate about commercials

I hate how they abruptly cut o

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In honor of one of the Super Bowl commercials...

So a guy goes to the doctor because his penis is bright orange.

The doctor examines him and says, "I've never seen anything like this before. Are you under a lot of stress at work?"

The guy says, "No."

The doctor says, "If you don't mind my asking, what do you do for a living?"<...

I physically force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials,

just to show him how good he has it.

The guy who built my bicycle wheels also does commercials for the shop.

He's a spokesperson.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wouldn't it be weird to see your friends star in commercials?

Frank was watching TV one night and saw his good friend Bob starring in a Viagra commercial. Frank thought Bob and him were pretty close, so he was surprised he hadn't heard about this before.

He calls to his wife in the other room and says, "Hey Susan, did you know Bob is in a Viagra commerc...

The best part about Netflix is there are no commercials.

On an unrelated note, does anyone know how to get urine stains out of a couch?

Commercials that never made it to air

Here's my entry:

"Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault and has ruined your life? Next time, use Durex".

All those car commercials that say "real people, not actors"

I agree, actors aren't real people.

I hate watching Showtime because they are always showing commercials for their own shows.

It’s just Shameless plug after Shameless plug.

There is only one thing more annoying than the 877-kars-4-kids commercials....

Any Patriots fan this morning.

Why doesn't Lilly from AT&T commercials show any cleavage?

Because AT&T has the best coverage

watching tv with my dad

We were watching the commercials and I said these commercials are brainwashing us, our brains are like hard drives and they store all this information, then my dad said "when you get old your brain turns into a soft drive"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you combine shitty, old commercials with audio files?

Aflac

My kids don't beg for toys and I realized it's because they never get to see commercials

Because they're locked in a cage

A man sentenced to death is asked

- What is your last wish?
- To watch the "Young and the Restless" series complete with commercials.

One day I’m going to open a furniture store named Sofa King.

That way I can make late night tv commercials and shout “our prices are Sofa King low!”

Two men are sitting in the cinema waiting for the movie to start

so they get bored with all the commercials and suddenly one of the two notices a bald guy in the middle of the front row. So he tells his friend '' 5 bucks if i go smash his head ? ''. The other guy curious about the outcome likes the idea so he agrees. The man stands up goes down the stairs smashes...

Smoky Bear: Only YOU can prevent wildfires!

Two guys are talking about TV commercials. One of them says, “So, I saw this commercial the other day where a bear dressed as park ranger said that only I could prevent wildfires.”

The other guy replies, “Why, that two-timing liar! The other day he told me that _I_ was the only one who coul...

Two Hillbillies are sitting outside the local store gossiping...

The first one says, "Welp, yesterdee muh wife got rear ended on the highway by one of them beer trucks."

The second says, "Shoot. They git 'er good?"

First one says, "Yup. Smashed in 'er backside real good."

The second one says, "What company was it?"

First one says, "Oh ...

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