UPJOKE
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Cold Sore Jokes

Dated a Greek god, now I have cold sores

Thanks a lot, Herpules

What did the cold sore say at the brothel?

Her please

How do you compliment a girl with a cold sore?

You tell her that her smile is contagious.

Was on Twitter earlier telling everyone about how I had this tiny spot on my top lip that turned into a massive cold sore…

It's gone viral…

I went on a blind date where her online profile said she had an infectious smile.

Turns out they were cold sores.

The teacher gathers the kids around

She says, “Alright, what does the pig give you?” And the kids all reply with “Bacon!” Then the teacher goes “what does the cow give you?” And the kids go “Beef!” And as a joke the teacher goes “What about the Catfish!” And another teacher looking haggard with a cold sore looking uncomfortable goes “...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the doctors with a swollen tongue...

.... he says “docther, I cant even schpeak properchkly”

The doctor says “I have the same condition and when I gets like this I go straight home and lick my wife’s vagina for an hour and the tongue goes back to normal and she loves it”

A few days later the man comes in and his tongue is...

My dad passed away a few months ago, today would've been his 61 birthday. Blame him for my sense of humor.

My sister messaged me. "How are you doing?"
I Responded. "My elbow hurts and I have a cold sore on my tongue."
"Two lessons learned, don't fight a hooker and don't kiss one."

Super deflect..

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