What do you get when you yell into a colander?

A strained voice.

My friend tried to convince me his colander can be used as a bucket.

I said the idea just doesn't hold water.

This new colander I bought is really heavy!

I'd better put it down before I strain something.

I was told i could look at an eclipse with a colander.

I tried it and it just strained my eyes.

I’m so busy with Covid and homeschool that I forgot to drain the kids mac & cheese.

Next time I'll set a Google Colander reminder...

I think my friend's new bowl is really a colander

He told me a long story about how he uses it for mixing, but it doesn't hold water.

Why did the colander take a day off?

It was feeling strained.

My new phone app...

I meant to download a calendar app for my phone, by my eyesight is so bad I downloaded a colander app... now my battery just keeps draining.

I had to throw away almost every strainer in my kitchen.

Colander: There can be only one.

Girlfriend said last night "You treat our relationship like some kind of game!"

Which unfortunately cost her 12 points,a bonus chance and she has to wear the hat that looks like a colander til she rolls a double 6.

How does a chef know what day it is?

He looks at the colander.

What utensil in the kitchen is used to keep track of time?

A colander!

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