It was time to get our chimney cleaned so I called a professional chimney sweep. He checks things out and after 10 minutes hands me an estimate. After checking it out I protested. "Twenty five hundred! Are you nuts? I'll clean it myself!
Ok soot yourself.
I used to date a female chimney sweep, you know the best bit?
I could fiddler on the roof
How do you make a chimney sweep get a move on?
Just light a fire under his ass!
A guy calls a chimney sweep.
A guy calls a chimney sweep to get his chimney cleaned. The sweep checks it out and then says he can do the job for $1,200. "TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!" the guy shouts. "For that much I'll do it myself." The sweep chuckles and says "Okay soot yourself "
A chimney sweep recently won $240,000 in a lottery
This is the largest sweep's take on record.
A chimney sweep called in sick to work.
He had a touch of the flue.
A black guy loses a middle finger in a work accident.
The surgeon tells him: "I'm sorry but I cannot attach your original finger due to the damage. However, I can attach one from a dead person. The thing is, I only have fingers from white people available."
The black guy says it's no problem, as long as he can use all fingers again.