Used Vacuum cleaner for sale.

I don't need it anymore. All it does is collect dust.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to sell vacuum cleaners door to door and do demonstrations by appointment. Seriously I did.

I had an appointment to demonstrate a machine at a home in a rural area. The house looked rough and as I walked to the door carrying all my demonstration equipment, a big mangy dog with a matted eye crowded me and followed me to the house.

I rang the bell and the lady let me in and the stupi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, a good-looking door-to-door seller knocks on the old lady's house and is offering the "world's best" vacuum cleaner...

He runs into the middle of the living room and bursts a cow dung on the floor.

"Madam", he says, "I swear to god, if I won't be able to clean the shit out of the carpet in 2 minutes, I will personally eat it".

The lady just smiles: "I hope you are hungry. The power is out since morni...

What’s the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner?

The position of the dirtbag.

I feel like my purchase of a vacuum cleaner was a waste of money

Ever since I bought all it's done is collected dust

I'm thinking of putting my vacuum cleaner on Ebay.

It was just collecting dust anyway.

The highlight of my week was my new vacuum cleaner.

Things are picking up.

Life is like a vacuum cleaner.

It sucks

Dad, I hate my life. It's like a functioning vacuum cleaner.

Dad: I don't understand

It sucks.

Dad: well, there is always roomba improvement.

I got rid of my vacuum cleaner the other day.

It’s been gathering dust for a while, and generally kind of sucks.

My jokes are like vacuum cleaners

They suck

What does a vacuum cleaner say to another vacuum cleaner who has a bad day?

That SUCKS!

Everyone in Britain prefers brushes over vacuum cleaners when it comes to tidying their floors.

Sorry if that's a sweeping generalisation.

Here’s the thing about vacuum cleaners

It doesn’t matter if you have the best or the worst, because at the end of the day they all suck.

- Hello. I want to return the robot vacuum cleaner I bought from you a week ago. The agreement allows it?

\- Yes, just tell me what you didn't like, we will inform the manufacturer.

\- Everything is in order, I just no longer need a vacuum cleaner. After he sucked the cat three times, My cat learned to use a brush, rag, scoop, and report a full bin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got my testicles stuck in a vacuum cleaner.

Now we're both bagless.

I bought a very cheap vacuum cleaner from a sale

What do you expect? It sucks.

My friend got a job working at a vacuum cleaner factory.

He said the money is good but the job sucks.

Thank you. Thank you.

No matter what vacuum cleaner you buy

They all suck

Salesman: "Ma'am, this vacuum cleaner is so great it will cut all your work by half!"

Woman: "That's fantastic! Give me two."

A man is selling a vacuum cleaner

He met up with a buyer, who asked him if it sucked well.

“Like my wife,” he responded.

Unsure of himself the buyer asked him whether that was a good or bad.

All the seller could say was “How the hell would I know?”

What's the difference between a wife and a vacuum cleaner? [NSFW]

The vacuum still sucks after a year.

My pet name for my wife is "broken vacuum cleaner" because...

##

...neither of them can cook.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A salesman trying to sell vacuum cleaners knocks on the door and the mother answers

Before she can say two words, the salesman pushes past her and throws a bag of horse shit on the carpet. The mother is understandably furious.

\- What the HELL do you think you're doing?!

The salesman doesn't lose his composure, after all, he's confident in his product.

\- Ma'am...

A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman knocks on a woman's door.

The woman answers, and the salesman says "Lady, I have the best damn vaccuum cleaner in the whole world."

Before she could decline, he invited himself in. "Lady," he said, "This vaccuum cleaner can suck up anything. In fact, if you leave it running, it'll probably suck the carpet up!"

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A vacuum cleaner salesman knocks on a woman's door. As she opens the door the salesman quickly runs inside and empties a bag full of poop on her expensive carpet.

Woman, shocked and angered, shouts "what the hell are you doing to my carpet?!?". The salesman replies "Ma'am, this is not just any ordinary vacuum cleaner. This vacuum cleaner has been engineered by top German scientists in their super high tech labs. If this vacuum cleaner doesn't clean up your ca...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A vacuum cleaner salesman

A vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on my door
Before I spoke he tipped a bucket of dog shit over my carpet and said
If this vacuum doesn't remove every trace of it I'll personally eat what's left
I replied I hope you're hungry because they cut off my electric this morning

I threw away my vacuum cleaner......

because It kept collecting dust.

I'm sorry that joked sucked, like a vacuum cleaner

My wife said we need a new vacuum cleaner because ours really sucks

I replied: Well then why do we need a new one?

I had amnesia and can't figure out what a vacuum cleaner is supposed to do

It sucks

Whats the last thing your father says before killing you with a vacuum cleaner?

Dyson

Wife: The vacuum cleaner doesn’t suck the way it used to.

Husband: Neither does the dish washer.

Two dust particles meet in a vacuum cleaner

"Man, I hate this place" says one of them.
"Yeah, it sucks."

Imagine getting a vacuum cleaner for Christmas

That would suck

What did the murderer say to his child as he pointed his vacuum cleaner at him?

Dyson.

Astigmatism is like a vacuum cleaner

I can see two u’s!

My vacuum cleaner was having a hard time doing its job. Yet the one I bought to replace it didn’t work either.

It really sucks

I threw out my old vacuum cleaner today...

It was just gathering dust.

(Courtesy of Tim Vine)

My vacuum cleaner wasn’t working that well

So I put a Honda sticker on it so it would suck more

What's the difference between a woman and a vacuum cleaner?

Vacuum cleaners don't shout at you for not wearing a condom

Apple is going to release the first smart vacuum cleaner this year

The first Apple product that doesn't suck

(not hating on apple or anything but i got this joke somewhere)

So i went to an shop to buy a vacuum cleaner...

And i looked at the prices, one was $100 the other was $99.

I looked in my pocket and i had $200.

But they were too cheap, so i went to look in a thrift shop for something better.

When i got there, one was $130, the other $200 and the other $100.

But those were all used v...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do a vacuum cleaner and a porn star have in common?

They both suck better when they are empty inside.

What animal SHOULD be scared of vacuum cleaners?

Dust bunnies.

My vacuum cleaner wasn’t working properly, so I tried to fix it.

Now it sucks even more.

I went to see the doctor yesterday as I wasn’t feeling too good after emptying my bagless vacuum cleaner

He told me I might actually dyson.

My vacuum cleaner recently had babies

Oh whoops, I meant my dog

What is a time travelling vacuum cleaner called?

Dr Whoover

What do an old vacuum cleaner and years of marriage have in common?

Loss of suction.

Did you hear about the Buddhist vacuum cleaner?

It has no attachments.

My brother is the worst seller ever. He was trying to sell me a Vacuum Cleaner

but the only thing that he kept saying was "it sucks".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

So this vacuum cleaner salesman knocks on his next potential clients door.


A man answers and greets the young man. "So what are you selling?" He asks.


The Salesman replies "only the best vacuum in the world"


The man goes "oh yeah, how so?"


The salesman ...

The Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

A door to door vacuum salesman visits a house. When he proposes a deal the woman tells him to take a hike.

Without giving her a second chance the man empties a bucket of cow dung onto to carpet and says "If the vacuum cleaner doesn't suck all of this up then I will eat the rest myself"
...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.