UPJOKE
shortenclipinterrupttruncatecurtailcut offsnipbreak offchopshearnickprunecrosscutshavetrim

Cut Short Jokes

Disney just tweeted that they wont be making new Marvel Universe movies, but the Tweet was cut short

Looks like they ran out of characters.

Why was the Hay Robber's prison sentence cut short?

He got out on bale.

I had a blind date last night

I had a blind date last night. But I was concerned -- What do I do if she's really unattractive? I'll be stuck with her all night.

Turns out, There's an app for that.

It's called "Mom Are You Ok". It schedules your phone to ring just after you meet her.

If you like her, you igno...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Who Am I?

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. "Wow Bob, looks like you guys had on...

Short message telegram

In days past, pre- phones and faxes and emails, a group of young ladies went on a picnic.

Unfortunately, the picnic was cut short as one of their group, Anna, sat down on an anthill and was rushed to hospital (Accident and Emergency in the UK).

Her friends needed to inform Anna's paren...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In a therapist’s office

The therapist asks the son of a family what has happened.

”I walked in to the shower and saw my father masturbating”.

”How horrible! What did you think about in that situation?”

”I thought about how our current family trip to Auschwitz will be cut short.”

Cat

A man who lived at home with his grand ma and pet cat went on a trip to Europe. Before he left he told his best friend to tell him of any emergencies.

A few days into his trip, his cat slipped while climbing the roof, fell off and died. His friend immediately texts him with the message: “Your...

I was going to tell a joke about vasectomies

But it was cut short.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man, a woman, and a dog are all about to go over the edge of a canyon in a car.

The man and woman get into a heated argument about bad driving, and whose fault this is.
The argument is cut short by the car's horn beeping repeatedly while the dog barks excessively. Glaring at the woman, the man bitterly complains, "Well it doesn't fucking matter, we're about to die anyway. Bu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy was walking home from school when he passed by a stray cat.

The cat was trying to drink water that had spilt on the tarmac near it. The boy saw that the tarmac was dirty, and was worried that the cat would get sick if it kept drinking the water. He started to slowly walk towards the cat while taking out his water bottle from his school bag. Once he got close...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mother allowed her daughter to attend a friend's party.

The mother wanted to make sure that her daughter would be safe that night. She taught her that if boys ever approached, ask them "What will be our baby's name?" to keep them away.

At the party, a boy got close to the daughter but was immediately asked, "What will be our baby's name?". The bo...

A man wants to buy a horse for his daughter's birthday. [Long]

He goes to a barn to see if the farmer will sell a horse to him. He sees a beautiful white horse with a silky mane. The farmer says to the man,

"I see you eyeing my horse, if you're looking to buy him, it's 1000$." The man thinks it's a steal at that price, so he gets money out and pays....

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.