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Mussolini Jokes

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H*tler and Mussolini are sitting at a bar.

A guy walks into the bar and asks the barkeeper "Aren't those two H*tler and Mussolini?" Barkeeper confirms. The guy sits next to them and asks:

-What are you guys doing?

H*tler answers:

-We're planning WW3

-Oh really? What will happen?

-We will kill 15m Jews and ...

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Why are Mussolini and Hitler the best runners?

They were the fascists

Mussolini was a lucky man.

Even on his last day he could hang out with his friends.

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If I am in a room with Adolf Hitler, Osama Bin Laden and Benito Mussolini....

Then I am probably suffering from Schizophrenia.

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Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini were on a boat.

It was quite a powerful dictator ship.

What's Mussolini' favourite pasta

Fussilini

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Mussolini: Bro how do i turn my iPhone off?

Hitler: Dude just use the Auff-Switch

Mussolini goes to hell

Its 1945, and its time for Mussolini to go to Hell

As he arrives near the infernal gates, apart from the "no smoking" sign he also spots an imp with a clipboard and a pen

As he approaches the gate the aforementioned imp says

"Welcome to hell, please state your name and surname...

What was Mussolini's favorite coffee?

Oppresso

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Roosevelt, Stalin, Mussolini, and Hitler are on a plane.

They want to break the tension amongst the countries, so they decide to go on a retreat to go skydiving. While they're headed to the drop off location, they each start to boast that their country is better.

"My country has the fastest moving army," claims Hitler. "No one can beat it."

...

What was Mussolini's least favourite font?

Parti sans.

I've grown an interest with Mussolini's Italy.

I guess you can call it a fascistnation.

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Hitler and Mussolini meet in Rome...

and Hitler wants to demonstrate how obedient the Nazi army is.

"Look Benito, I will put ten soldiers in this room. Then I'll drop a feather inside it and close the door. When the feather hits the floor, they will all shoot each other."

After five seconds from shutting the door, the s...

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What do Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini and Ayn Rand have in common?

They are all dead.

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Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin are all sitting in a restaurant discussing their plans for World War 3.

A waitress approaches the table and listens to their talk. Hitler opens by saying:

"Okay guys, I've got a great idea. I already talked to Stalin about it, but I figure I should get your input. He didn't believe me."

Mussolini responds "believe you about what?"

"Okay this time...

Have you heard of Mussolini's herbal locomotive fuel?

He made the trains run on thyme.

Next time someone compares Trump to Mussolini, remind them of the biggest difference.

Mussolini was well hung.

Out of all the enemy leaders during World War II, who could run with the most speed?

Mussolini, because he was the fascist

What do you call a moose with two legs shorter than the others?

Mussolini

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Ok here is a very dark joke. NSFW

Hitler and Mussolini were a lot like hydrogen and oxygen.

One did the burning while the other supported it.

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Italy, year VI of the Fascist Era.

A very very poor farmer is desperate. He doesn't have food, money or clothes for his children. He's so desperate that he decides to write a letter to God, asking for 500 lire (Italian money).

So he takes a pen and some paper, writes the request, and encloses it in an envelope. Now he has to ...

Turns out plantar fasciitis is a foot condition

Not a farmer who loves Mussolini.

In the 1930s, the Italians developed an engine fuel technology that used household spices.

It’s true. Mussolini made the trains run on thyme

During WW2, oil shortages forced some countries to start using organic fuels.

Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.

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