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H*tler and Mussolini are sitting at a bar.

A guy walks into the bar and asks the barkeeper "Aren't those two H*tler and Mussolini?" Barkeeper confirms. The guy sits next to them and asks:

-What are you guys doing?

H*tler answers:

-We're planning WW3

-Oh really? What will happen?

-We will kill 15m Jews and ...

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Mussolini: Bro how do i turn my iPhone off?

Hitler: Dude just use the Auff-Switch

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Why are Mussolini and Hitler the best runners?

They were the fascists

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Hitler and Mussolini are in a war meeting when Mussolini's stomach starts rumbling

"If you'll excuse me Adolf," said Mussolini "I have to go drop a Duce."

What's Mussolini' favourite pasta

Fussilini

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Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini were on a boat.

It was quite a powerful dictator ship.

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Mussolini didn't like no nutz November.

He preferred many Nazi March.

Turns out plantar fasciitis is a foot condition

Not a farmer who loves Mussolini.

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Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin are all sitting in a restaurant discussing their plans for World War 3.

A waitress approaches the table and listens to their talk. Hitler opens by saying:

"Okay guys, I've got a great idea. I already talked to Stalin about it, but I figure I should get your input. He didn't believe me."

Mussolini responds "believe you about what?"

"Okay this time...

Have you heard of Mussolini's herbal locomotive fuel?

He made the trains run on thyme.

What was Mussolini's least favourite font?

Parti sans.

What do you call a moose with two legs shorter than the others?

Mussolini

What was Mussolini's favorite coffee?

Oppresso

I've grown an interest with Mussolini's Italy.

I guess you can call it a fascistnation.

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A man goes to hell and sees Hitler drinking with his friends at a bar

A man goes to hell and sees Hitler drinking at a bar with Hirohito, Mussolini, and Fransisco Franco.

The man hears Hitler brag about killing millions of Jews and sixteen spotted owls.

The man goes up to the table and asks, "Why in the hell would you kill sixteen spotted owls?"
...

Next time someone compares Trump to Mussolini, remind them of the biggest difference.

Mussolini was well hung.

In the 1930s, the Italians developed an engine fuel technology that used household spices.

It’s true. Mussolini made the trains run on thyme

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What do Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini and Ayn Rand have in common?

They are all dead.

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Hitler and Mussolini meet in Rome...

and Hitler wants to demonstrate how obedient the Nazi army is.

"Look Benito, I will put ten soldiers in this room. Then I'll drop a feather inside it and close the door. When the feather hits the floor, they will all shoot each other."

After five seconds from shutting the door, the s...

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Ok here is a very dark joke. NSFW

Hitler and Mussolini were a lot like hydrogen and oxygen.

One did the burning while the other supported it.

Out of all the enemy leaders during World War II, who could run with the most speed?

Mussolini, because he was the fascist

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Mein Scherz

Hitler: Are there any Jews left?
Hirohito: I don't know.
Mussolini: I will go Czech.

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Italy, year VI of the Fascist Era.

A very very poor farmer is desperate. He doesn't have food, money or clothes for his children. He's so desperate that he decides to write a letter to God, asking for 500 lire (Italian money).

So he takes a pen and some paper, writes the request, and encloses it in an envelope. Now he has to ...

During WW2, oil shortages forced some countries to start using organic fuels.

Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.

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Going to Hell for this one

Hitler and Mussolini came back from the dead and were sitting in a bar in TX, because why not? This drunk redneck hears them making plans of picking up where they left off.

He hears Hitler say, "So the plan is to round up all the Jews in Hollywood, DC, and Israel; get them all together along...

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