After I got my school photo taken, I told them I only wanted the one poster sized print developed.

They asked, “Are you sure you wouldn’t be interested in exploring some of the packages with wallet and postcard sizes with multiple...”

I had to cut them off and let them know that, “I’m really just a big picture person.”

“But painting a giant mural is going to cost us lots of money in the short term!”

“Well, you’ve just gotta think about the big picture!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to find out what will make me happy in life, but it's like taking a photo with a shitty camera

Trying to get the big picture but focusing on all the wrong things.

Life Rules For My Son

1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.

2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.

3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.

4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.

5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially i...

A horse is in the pub having a few drinks...

... when he spots a donkey in the corner so he nips over to have a natter, donkey asks "what did you do for a living" horse says " I ran on the flat in the summer and over the jumps in the winter".

Donkey says "I worked with the kids on blackpool beach" , then he asks "did you win anything"....

An artist’s struggle.

A guy wants a large self-portrait comissioned. When he is given a quote, he gets angry about having to pay for it. The artist replies “I guess you don’t get the big picture”.

Women are like snowflakes. They’re all unique, and they’re all beautiful.

But in the big picture, they’re all the same.

Why don't Leave voters go to the cinema?

Because they're unable to see the big picture.

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