I went to a beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13.

“Sir, you gave me an extra.” That’s a freebie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A politician, drug dealer, beekeeper, priest, doctor, lawyer, accountant, engineer, prostitute, programmer, nurse, chef, forensic analyst, biologist, truck driver and a writer walk into a bar

It is a big bar. Very big one. And empty, or at least it was empty until this large group of people entered it.

They all form a queue in front of the bar and order drinks one by one. The politician gets a Heineken, the drug dealer orders a Budweiser, the beekeeper gets a mead, the priest buy...

What do barkeepers and beekeepers have in common?

That constant buzz around them.

A man walks into an apiary and asks for a dozen bees.

The beekeeper nods and carefully counts out 13 bees. The man realizes this and points it out, "That’s one too many.”

*"No worries. It’s a freebie."*

I've been a beekeeper for years and when my crush said "It's me or it's those nasty insects, make up your mind", at first I didn't think she was serious.

Then I saw her face.


Now I'm a bee-leaver.

Why did the beekeeper work so hard?

No Honey, No Money

I recently went to a beekeeper and purchased 7 bees. When I got home, I realized he gave me 8.

Looks like I got a freebie!

A local beekeeper was selling his bees for 5 dollars each.

"5 dollars for a single bee?! That's ridiculous," I complained.

"Well, if you don't like the price, you can select from that hive over there, those are freebies."

I went over to my local beekeeper this morning to buy 10 bees.

After 5 minutes he came back and gave me 11.

I said “I only asked for the 10?!”.

He replied “You’ve got 10, and a freebie”.

My sister used to be a beekeeper.

She lived in California, but was always very emotional. She decided to get into bee keeping by way of therapy, but one day her favourite bee died. She'd named him Alloudocius. We always called her the super sister because she looked after us, but things were never the same after her bee died. We bla...

I used to be a beekeeper, but my wife demanded that I either leave her or the bees because she had so many stings. At first, I thought this couldn't be true.

Then I saw her face, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bear got the habit to steal mead from one bee-garden

Owner doesn't know what to do: as soon as he gets the gun out, bear climbs to a large tree and can't be reached. One day beekeeper sees advertisement in a local paper: will help with any animals. He calls the number, and over an hour hefty man arrives with a shovel and tiny white dog. This is Snowfl...

There is a beekeeper who is notorious for how he is very selective.

He will only keep bees that people would normally see as ugly, scary, etc. Nobody knows why he does this, maybe he has an obsession of sorts, but nobody knew until somebody decided to ask him why.

The beekeeper is not phased by the question, but he is confused why someone would refer to the ...

A beekeeper was asked which species of bees he found to be the most pretty.

His reply: "Beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder"

What do beekeepers say when they go to work?

"Alright, let's get down to beeswax!"

I used to be a beekeeper

I remained so until the Monkees came to my town. Rather than take care of my apiary, my girlfriend wanted me to take her to the concert. I didn't think she was serious, but then I saw her face. Now I'm a bee-leaver.

Why do all Beekeepers end their day at the bar?

They enjoy a good Buzzzzzzzz

I hadn't put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup

I hadn't put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup. But that's okay, because she'd just put a picture of her dog. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded.

We clicked pretty quickly, and sta...

How do beekeepers keep their bees so chill?

They smoke them out.

What kind of people have the most beautiful eyes?

Beekeepers.
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder.

Why did the eyeglasses model become a beekeeper?

He heard that beauty was in the eyes of the bee holder.

Let me know what you think of my 2nd attempt!

A young boy decided that he wanted to become a beekeeper when he grew up. When he told his parents this they decided it would be a great chance to teach him responsibility and give him a chance to earn his own spending money. So they bought him a small colony of bees and the tools he would need to t...

I was recently the victim of a drone attack.

I forgot to wear my beekeepers veil.

One of my many niche-market jokes

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so why haven't beekeepers monopolized the fashion industry?

If it ever becomes illegal to wear a veil to work ....

beekeepers will be furious.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.