UPJOKE
thrashfingeringvibratortabooswinglethreshpundefeathitbatterbeatcausalitysituationalbackbeatlatin

Beat Off Jokes

What do blind people beat off to?

Thots

I’m sad, depressed, and haven’t beat off in weeks...

Guess you could say I’m not feeling myself lately

I'm trying this new thing where I don't beat off

it's hard

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For my cake day I’ve decided to share my favourite cake recipe

I used to have trouble remembering how I did it, so this time I wrote it down while making it.

You’ll need 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1...bottle Vodka,2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of Vodka to che...

I started dancing so that I could sleep with women...

But my signature move was always a beat off.

Did you hear about the man who won the World Handjob Championships?

It was close, but he managed to beat off some stiff competition

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redditor with three sons remarries

The boys have never had a step mother before. So they spend 19 hours researching pornhub, to learn how step mother/son relationships work. When their father goes to work the next day, the first son starts furiously jerking off with his bedroom door wide open. His new mother sees him, screams, and r...

I tried to learn how to play the drums.

but i'm just a beat off.

This one time, I went to prison, but I got out without a scratch-

I beat off all the other prisoners

Be careful what you ask for from a Genie

I heard this guy in front of me on the plane wish to get beat off...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.