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Bad Joke Jokes

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Do you guys know what makes the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?

The Pizza

Wait no fuck...

I meant the delivery

What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?

Condoms.

Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon.

When nobody laughed he would follow with, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."

How do you tell a dad joke from a bad joke?

Trust me, the difference is apparent.

How would you describe a bad joke about pancakes?

Wawful.

Bad jokes are the best jokes

Did you know humans eat more bananas than monkeys?



I believe it… I’ve never eaten a monkey, have you?

What happens to people who make bad jokes?

They get pun-ished.

I once told a bad joke about ghosts

It still haunts me to this day.

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A bad joke for you

A Japanese man was visiting the United States when he met an American

"What state are you from?" Said the Japanese man

"Ohio" replied the American

"And hello to you too, but what state are you from?" Said the Japanese man

Bad joke incoming

4 Norse gods, 1 roman god, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar. The bartender says "This is gonna be a week joke"

A very very bad joke, but original: What do you call the shape of a mushroom?

an irregular mycosohedron

If BJ is Bad Joke then what is B+iJ?

Complex Bad Joke.

And if you didn't find it funny, that's because the Joke part was imaginary.

I heard we’re telling bad jokes, so here’s mine.

Long ago there lived a Cheerio in a small village beneath a giant mountain, which had a small town of its own on top.

This famous town was known for one thing, in this town, if you wait in line, you can receive anything that you want, but to reach it, you must climb the difficult mountain al...

(DISCLAIMER: VERY VERY BAD JOKE) Two mates come for a meet together after high school...

One has a new Mercedes S550L, the other has a beaten up VW Golf. The Golf guy tells his friend that he has something to show off to him.

They drive to a nearby car park.

The Golf driver opens his glovebox and whips out a lamp. He scratches it, a genie pops up.

He tells the gen...

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Bad joke time

What was the car feeling while stuck in traffic?




Horny

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Why do dyslexics make bad joke tellers?

They always punch up the fuckline

Why did the alcoholic tell bad jokes at the comedy club?

He did it for the boos.

The police said they’d arrest me if I kept telling bad jokes.

I stopped because I was scared I would end up in punitentiary.

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A bad joke

A guy finds a genie and says his wish is to fuck a goddess in a golden garden. He gets it, has some awkward sex in a lush garden with golden plants and teleports back to the genie. He then realised his mistake and asks the samething as a second wish. This time, before the goddess appears, he starts ...

My girlfriend started lying to me because of all my bad jokes.

##

We have always been such a happy couple and everything was fine for 3 years straight. Of course I always felt comfortable in front of her and felt like I can tell her anything. That's where I was wrong.

A few months ago I noticed that she became annoyed by my dumb jokes that were o...

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Would I post a bad joke on my cake day?

You butter believe it.

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A REALLY BAD JOKE

My uncle : Man I just found out my son is gay

Me : Man that blows LOL...Haha.. geddit?..blowjob??

My uncle : not really we prefer anal

Me : what?!

Gay uncle : what?

This is a bad joke

So there is this man, and he has no arms, but he wants a job as a church bell ringer. So he goes for the interview, and the interviewer says “how can you ring the bell? You have no arms.” And the man says “like this.” He goes up to the tower and steps to the edge. He runs and slams his head into the...

Bad Jokes

Q. How did the man feel when he fixed the broken plug socket.

A. Shocked.

Q. How much did the rich man lift in the powerlifting competition.

A. A pound.

Q. How did the jewellers speech go.

A. It was crystal clear.

Q. How did the plumber feel when gave blood....

Bad joke incoming

I apologize in advance


Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. A super calloused fragile...

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BAD JOKE !!

A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The bartender pours him the drink and the guy downs it in one gulp. "Wow", says the bartender, "Something bad must have happened". Yeah it did, he said. "I came home early today, went up to the bedroom, and found my wife having sex with my best frie...

What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?

The first letter.



PS: as a dad I'm allowed.

Breaking Bad Joke

Walter: Hi Skyler, got us some breadsticks and pizza

Skyler: How much do I owe you.

Walter: It’s on the house.

a good joke and a bad joke are walking along

they come to a bridge, and the bad joke pushes the good joke off.

Man, what a bad joke

There's a lot of bad jokes. Especially the one about the dessert thief

That one really takes the cake

A peanut told a bad joke at a party

Everyone at the party roasted him

On the other hand, a cheeto's bad joke resulted in him becoming the president of the United States

a pretty bad joke my dad once told me

what do you get when you cross a elephant, rhino, and a hippo?


helliphino

Bad fishing joke

I came here to tell a bad joke about fishing, but all you need to know is the reel jokes will be in the comments

Bad joke

Doctor: Sorry to keep you waiting


Patient: No problem. I'm patient.

alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy

brace yourselves

so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair ...

What do bad jokes have in common with the planes on 9/11?

They don't stick the landing.

How do Hawaiians subtly enjoy a bad joke?

with a low "ha"

Some what not so bad joke...

Do you know why you should never fight a dinosaur?

Because you'll get JURASSKICKED!

Do you know why you should never fight a giraffe?

Because you'll get GIRAFFEKICKED!

Do you know why you should never fight a dog?

Because you're... probably gonna get bit...

I hate bad jokes.

They should be pun-ishable by law.

Buffalo Tattoo (bad joke)

I've recently started going to the gym so I can have big arm muscles but I'm thinking of quitting and just getting a buffalo tattoo instead. That way when I wave to people it can still be a buff hello .

the bad joke

A man goes to his doctor for a checkup.
After the tests are done, the doctor asks the man to bend over for a prostate exam. The man drops his pants and bends over.
While the man is grunting due to the doctors fat finger, the doctor says
"Wanna see a magic trick?"
the man says "Ookay?"...

(bad joke) how to get laid

1. lay on bed

2. wait 2 hours

3. lay becomes a past tense

A bad joke:- Why did the horse feel at home in front of an old couple?

Because he found their relationship to be stable

All my friends know my second favorite activity is making bad jokes.

My favorite activity is making lists that start at two.

Why are bad jokes like dead babies?

Usually, something went wrong with the delivery.

How do you end a bad joke?

My 8 year old said this and I *had* to post it for him.

Painfully bad joke my younger brother told me.

What do you call an expert on marine life? An aFISHionado.

A mushroom goes into the hall of bad jokes and says “I’d like to submit a joke of my people”

The receptionist looks at him and says “listen buddy we have so many bad jokes here that I’m not sure we can squeeze yours in. It has to be exceptionally bad, let me hear it.”

Mushroom: “so a shroom goes on a date with this girl and she says ‘tell me about yourself’ and he says ‘well I’m a fu...

No one can beat this bad joke

A snake, a snail and a fish walked into a bar

Remember that bad joke about eyes?

I'll tell you a cornea one.

You can tell a bad joke from a good home by the number of awards it has...

See above.

I knew a guy in high school, he always told bad jokes so we called him the joke

anyway, one time at prom he was dancing near the table with bowls of different punches, all of the sudden he fell straight on his spine and scared everyone.

long story short the joke fell flat and he missed the punch line.

My girlfriend left me for telling too many bad jokes...

I guess her love was pun-conditional.

Bad joke i thought of late af at night

Did you hear the Kayse family are expecting a girl but they have prepared a boys name; Justin Kayse

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A really bad joke a friend told me (sorry in advance)

A state trooper is driving on a highway. Suddenly, as he drives behind a civilian car, the car starts increasing its speed. The trooper starts to follow the car, suspecting something is up. The car keeps increasing the speed, going up to almost 140mph. After about 10 min chase the driver finally giv...

Here in Portugal we call bad jokes 'dry jokes'. Do you want to see an example?

The desert

[Bad joke] How does a Marine like his eggs?

Semper-fried!

(Bring on the booings and the beatings)

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What’s the difference between my dick and a bad joke?

One look at my dick and people start laughing, meanwhile a bad joke gets stared at for a while before it’s funny

How do you call a nationwide spread of bad jokes?

Pundemic.

I'll show myself out.

[Bad joke] The other day my sister asked me what the difference between cellular division and a sock is

To which I replied 'Nothing, they both involve mitosis'

I present to you the first bad joke of 2019.

How does a physicist define a woman?

A hormonic oscillator.

Which part of the eye tells bad jokes

The corny-a

How many bad joke tellers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One.

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