UPJOKE
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Assed Jokes

How many GoT plot writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only two, but they'll wait 6 or 7 seasons before screwing it up.

Did you hear about the half-assed programmer?

Apparently he had a missing semi-colon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A long-assed golf joke- but a decent, long-assed golf joke...

A man goes to see his priest:

“Father”, the man begins, “I took the Lord’s name in vain today while I was golfing.”

“I see. This is certainly an egregious sin in the eyes of our Lord, but perhaps you could tell me the circumstances around which this happened. As a golfer myself, I un...

Hear about the half-assed hitman?

He assinated people.

Women's underwear is a great example of how you can make something half-assed and it still become very successful

Thought of this in traffic yesterday

What do you call a horse that's always doing things half-assed?

A mule

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife was in bed, naked with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door. “Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.”

The husband lurched into the bed, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed.

He turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?”

“You’re so drunk you miscounted,” said the wi...

Mules are mediocre.

They only do a Half-Assed job.

What happened to the guy who fell into burning coals at the bonfire?

He got really EMBER-ASSED.

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