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Ants Jokes

How can you differentiate male ants from female ants?

They're all female, otherwise they'd be called uncles

What's worse than having ants in your pants?

Uncles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ant

1. 5 ants + 5 ants = Tenants
2. To bring an ant from another country into your country = Important
3. Ant that goes to school = Brilliant
4. Ant that is looking for a job = Applicant
5. A spy ant = Informant
6. A very little ant = Infant
7. An ant that uses a gun = Militant
8. ...

Two ants had an arrangement to meet every winter in Miami for a vacation.

Last year, when one ant gets to Miami he is shivering and shaking.
The other ant asked him, "Why are you shaking so badly?"

The first ant says, "I rode down here from New Jersey in the moustache of a guy on a Harley."

The other ant says, "That’s the worst way to travel. Do what I d...

Why don’t ants get Covid?

Because they have tiny little anty bodies.

Why don't The Ants catch COVID?

They've got little Antibodies.

All groups of animals have unique names: a gaggle of geese, a pod of whales, a colony of ants… so what do you call a group of Karens?

An HOA

5 ants rent an apartment.

they realize there is plenty of room so they invite another 5 ants to join them



They are now Tenants

How come ants don't get sick?

...because they have lil' anty-bodies

*runs away*

How many ants does it take to rent a house?

Ten ants

If you own a house, you have to always be alert for ants.

If you see a couple ants, take care of it, because that can easily turn into several ants. When you get to eight or nine, get rid of them IMMEDIATELY. Why? Because once you have ten ants living with you, things get more expensive.

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just two but you have to break it to get them out.

What’s the largest species of ants?

Gi-ants

An ant knocked on the door of a house.

The house owner opened the door.

"I want a place to stay," said the ant.

"I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free" said the owner.

Thankful, the ant went inside and occupied the vacant room.

After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested the
o...

Why did the house owner not allow the nine ants to enter?

Because they were not ten ants

Landlord of the ants

I saw a group of 10 ants just running frantically in my room. I felt bad, so I made a small house for them out of a cardboard box.

This technically makes me their landlord and they are my
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Tenants.

Five ants moved into an apartment. Then five more moved in.

Now the landlord is asking for rent.

Two ants, a mother and her daughter, were walking through their underground city.

They were having a lovely day until they came upon a group of protesters outside the queen's domain. One man with a sign reading "It's time to GO!" spotted them and quickly approached.

"Excuse me ma'am, but do you have a moment to take a look at some alarming literature and help support our ...

Why do fish form schools, but ants form colonies?

Cause *truants* don't go to school!

(I came up with this right now)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My eight year old nephew said he had a joke:

“What did the ant say to the other ant?”
“I dunno, what?”
“Nothing, ants communicate using pheromones, not speech.”
“Yeah, that’s not really a joke kid.”
He was quiet for a moment, and looked at the ground. “It’s an ant-y joke, asshole.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke I heard as a kid: “Three ants are sleeping on a beautiful naked woman…

… and the morning after they are debating on who found the better place to sleep.

The first ant says: “My spot was the best! I rested on the soft hills”

The second ant replies: “No, no, mine was the best! I slept in the deep forest”

Then the third ant comes and says: “Well...

Did you know that when ants are young, they have small appendages at the ends of their legs?

They lose them as they get larger, and they also begin to produce the same proteins found in milk.


They lack toes in taller ants.

Why don't ants go to church?

Because they are in sects.

Fun Facts about ants

So as you may or may not know, ants have many breeds, but above these breeds, two general groups can be seen in ants around the world. These groups are the Macro ants (Big ants), and the Micro ants (Small ants).

Multiple different breeds of ants can be found in each of the two groups (Such ...

The discriminatory ant colony banished all ants over 4 mm tall

They had no taller ants

There are three ants walking in a line.

The first one in line says, "There's an ant walking behind me."

The second one in line says, "There's an ant walking behind me."

The third ant then also says, "There's an ant walking behind me."

How could this be possible?

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The t...

Scientists have declared that ants are immune to COVID-19....

They think its probably because they have.... anty bodies

Ants are nature's biggest simps

Millions follow their queen when she uses OnlyPheromones.

At the request of my wife, I have placed an order for a box of ants to be shipped from Italy...

She said we need more Rome ants in our relationship.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do ants have dicks?

No.

Cuz then they would be uncles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy is sitting on the sidewalk smashing ants, yelling god damn ants every time, when

A priest walks up to him and asks him “what are you doing son?” The kid replies, “I’m killing these worthless god damn ants.” The priest than says to the kid, “God put all things on earth to have some sort of worth or value.” The kid stops and the Priest walks away.

5 minutes later a nun walk...

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I used to burn ants with a magnifying glass.

But now I'm focusing on something else.

Why do ants have eyes?

So they can see.


(Downvote if you like ant eye humour doesn't really belong on this sub

Why do the older ants go up the side of the mountain and the younger ants go down the side of the mountain?

Because they're descendants!

If it's not about elephants, it's irrelephant. But what if it's about ants?

Pertinant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

THESE GAH DAMN ANTS

A priest was walking down the sidewalk when he came across a young boy who was burning ants with a magnifying glass. As the priest got closer he could hear the boy saying "THESE GAH DAMN ANTS".

The priest stopped the young boy and said "son, God made these ants therefore they are not useless....

Which department do you call when ants go missing?

Dept. of Finance


I'll see myself out now....

Why didn’t the 11 ants get let into the ant hill?

Because the ant hill is for ten ants only.

Three ants take shelter from the rain in somebodies bathroom.

The first ant says, “ I’m going to sleep in the sink”
The second ant says, “ I’ll sleep in the tub”
The third ant says, “ I’ll get the best sleep of all and sleep in the toilet!”

The next morning, the three ants wake up.
The first ant says, “ I slept great last night!”
The second...

Ants in your tummy

A guy complained to his doctor about stomach pain and after a quick x-ray his doctor tells him he has ants living in his lower intestines. The doctor tells him to buy a watermelon and poke a hole in it and sit on the hole so the queen ant can come down, taste it, and call out the rest of the ants so...

Why are all ants British?

Because they colonize.

What's the worst thing about carpenter bees and carpenter ants?

They aren't union.

How do ants communicate with each other?

With their antennae of course!

How are nine ants able to live in an apartment for free?

By not being tenants.

Why don't ants get COVID-19? (Part 2)

It's not because they have anty-bodies; not because they tend to be resist-ant to viruses (even though most of them are anti-vaxxers); it's not even the fact that they use disinfect-ant whilst being socially dist-ant. They don't get it simply because they just can't.

The Mighty Ant

Why can't ants get Covid 19?





They have tiny ant-y bodies!

I usually feed Tums to ants

Because it's like antacid to them.

10 ants were looking for a new place to live...

The 1 ant, 2 ant, and 3 ant bought houses in the country.

The 4 ant, 5 ant, and 6 ant bought houses in the city.

The 7 ant, 8 ant, and 9 ant bought houses at the beach.

The 10 ant decided to rent.

A friend of mine cut off the tip of ants feet and attached stilts to their legs.

Now he has lack toes and taller ants...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

two ants are fighting on a toilet seat

One of them gets pissed off.

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