Why were the ants unaffected by the covid virus?

They have lil anty bodies.

What’s worse than ants in your pants?

Uncles.

Do you know why ants are never sick?

It's because they have little anty bodies

Why are ants immune to COVID-19?

They have anty-bodies

I set my burrito down on the window sill and went to get a drink. When I came back, there was a long line of ants running into my food!!

I hate sill ant row!

So I was in my room and I saw a group of ten ants just running around frantically. I felt badly for them so I made a small house for them. out of a cardboard box.

This technically makes me their landlord and they are my.....


Tenants

Why are all ants English?

because they like to colonize.

What's another reason why ants don't get coronavirus

Because they are good at keeping six feet apart

What do you call someone who has never paid attention to ants?

Ignorant.

Why don't ants get coronavirus?

Because they have antibodies

My friend and I opened a gym for ants.

He thinks the business is failing and quit this morning but I’m still working out the bugs.

How can you tell female ants from male ants?

They're all females, otherwise they'd be called uncles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

"We're taking United” was the reply. "We got a great rate!”

“United?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old,...

10 ants were looking for a new place to live...

The 1 ant, 2 ant, and 3 ant bought houses in the country.

The 4 ant, 5 ant, and 6 ant bought houses in the city.

The 7 ant, 8 ant, and 9 ant bought houses at the beach.

The 10 ant decided to rent.

Why do male ants float in water ?

Because they are boy-ant

Two ants, a mother and her daughter, were out for a walk in their underground city.

They were having a lovely day until they came upon a group of protesters outside the queen's domain. One, with a sign reading *It's time to GO!,* spotted them and quickly approached.

"Excuse me ma'am, can you spare a moment to take a look at some alarming literature and help support our cause...

Why do fish form schools, but ants form colonies?

Cause *truants* don't go to school!

(I came up with this right now)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

THESE GAH DAMN ANTS

A priest was walking down the sidewalk when he came across a young boy who was burning ants with a magnifying glass. As the priest got closer he could hear the boy saying "THESE GAH DAMN ANTS".

The priest stopped the young boy and said "son, God made these ants therefore they are not useless....

Did you hear about the ants that made a Teeter Totter out of a toothpick and half a crumb?

Well it didn't work, so they had to use a FULLCRUMB

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to burn ants with a magnifying glass.

But now I'm focusing on something else.

Did you know, when ants come into your house, if there are 2 less than a dozen, you have to let them stay.

They have rights as ten-ants.

Which department do you call when ants go missing?

Dept. of Finance


I'll see myself out now....

What do you call two ants who have a baby together?

Pair ants

Why do the older ants go up the side of the mountain and the younger ants go down the side of the mountain?

Because they're descendants!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don’t ants have dicks?

Because then they would be uncles.

What do you call a bunch of carpenter ants?

A construction site.

I woke up to a dozen ants crawling all over my body this morning because i left a snickers bar wrapper in my bed from the night before, i killed a couple but then i felt bad so I've let them make me their home.

They are now my tenants.

Why can’t 9 ants rent an apartment?

Because they aren’t ten-ants

I usually feed Tums to ants

Because it's like antacid to them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy is sitting on the sidewalk smashing ants, yelling god damn ants every time, when

A priest walks up to him and asks him “what are you doing son?” The kid replies, “I’m killing these worthless god damn ants.” The priest than says to the kid, “God put all things on earth to have some sort of worth or value.” The kid stops and the Priest walks away.

5 minutes later a nun walk...

Why do 9 ants get to love in an apartment for free?

Because they are not tenants..

An ant couple and their eight ant children

moved into an apartment together. They were tenants.

Why didn’t the 11 ants get let into the ant hill?

Because the ant hill is for ten ants only.

A scientific study was conducted on ants...

There was a scientific study conducted on various species of ants investigating the correlation between their heights and how their feet operate.
Shorter ants were found to have little nubs on the end of their feet that operate similarly to toes on humans and primates.
This was not seen in lar...

Two men are sitting at a table.

One guy says, "I have ants"

The second guy replies, "Yeah, but my ants are taller than yours."

So the first guy now says 'Well, I have a tube of glue!",

To which the second guy replies, "And... I have an entire tin of it."

Finally, the first guy says "I have bread."
...

An ant walked into a man's house

The ant requested the man to stay in his house. The man was polite and allowed it to stay with him without paying rent. After a few more days, another ant, hearing the news about the free accomodation also came and asked for a home. He allowed both of them to stay for free because they were tiny and...

A joke originally told in Arabic

The doctor asks him what is that dreaming problem.

"Every night I go to sleep," the man says. "I dream of a soccer match between a team of elephants and a team of ants"

"Ok, take this medicine," the doctor says. "It will fix the problem."

The man refuses though and says:
...

Why was the ant so confused?

Because all of his uncles were ants.

(Credit to my nine year old son)

What has four legs and eats ants?

Two uncles.

The Ivory Throne of the King of Timbuktu

Hundreds of years ago, when glorious Timbuktu was nothing more than a large collection of grass huts, the King of that great city declared his wish for a throne fit for such a mighty ruler. Of ivory it was to be, exquisitely carved, inlaid with gold leaf, decorated with diamonds and emeralds and sap...

If you have nine ants in your apartment, that’s a problem.

But if you have ten ants, just ask them for rent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Urine test for free

Go to a tree trunk and take a piss.

If it attracts a lot of ants you have high glucose.

If it dry too fast you have high sodium.

If it smells like meat, you have high cholesterol.

Forgot to open your pants to pee, Alzheimer’s.

Had trouble aiming at the tr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob the ant wanted to be a stand-up comedian

He had a wild, bold, and crazy personality and sense of humor. He knew he would be hilarious if he just had the opportunity to get in front of a crowd.
 

So Bob the ant went around town auditioning for gigs. He let his crazy attitude go full force at the judges. They weren’t too impressed,...

Why don't ants get stick?

Because..











^(They have little antibodies)

Why are there so many ants in Paris?

Because it's France.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.

If there's only one ant, it's ant masturbation.

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