UPJOKE
animaliakingdom animaliaanimalbeastcreaturezoologyplantsinvertebratemammalomnivoreherbivorecarnivorevertebratepompeiiscorsese

Animal Kingdom Jokes

The animal kingdom had become overpopulated.

The lion, being the head of the animal kingdom, made a decree: a joke telling contest would be held at the end of the week. The tortoise, unanimously agreed upon as being the fairest of all the animals, was appointed as the official judge. The rules were simple: tell your joke to the tortoise, and i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why're squirrels the horniest animals in the animal kingdom

Because they're always looking for their next nut.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joke Contest in the Animal Kingdom

Once upon a time, there was a great famine within the animal kingdom so all the animals gathered to solve this serious issue. Desperate times calls for desperate measures and they had to find a way to reduce the animal population. The owl, being the wisest in the kingdom, hatched an idea and said "E...

Dolphins are the Ted Bundy of the animal kingdom

Raping murdering psychopaths, but white women love them.

What do you call a reptile that likes to start trouble in the animal kingdom?

An instigator


I'll see myself out...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What are the drug dealers of the animal kingdom?

Monkeys because they are slinging shit all day

What's the slowest-moving body part in the entire animal kingdom?

Mole Asses.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the best selling sex toy in the animal kingdom?

The armadildo.

What is something that elephants are known to do that no other animal in the animal kingdom has been observed doing?

Make baby elephants.

The animal kingdom decided to have its first official land speed race. All the animals signed up to see who's the fastest.

After the race was over, and the results were in.

The judges deliberated, and decided to disqualify the winner..

Reason given: "He was a cheetah".

How do you fit an Elephant in a refrigerator ?

Open the door, shove in the Elephant, close the door.


*How do you fit a Giraffe in a refrigerator?*

Open the door, take out the Elephant, shove in the Giraffe, close the door.


*A plane has 20 bricks on the right hand side and 21 bricks on the left side. How do you balanc...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A donkey had an IQ of 186.

He had no friends at all though. Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.

Mu favorite series of riddles when i was in high school. Hope you all like it as much as i did <3

Give 3 steps to put an elephant in a refrigerator.
i.Open the refrigerator
ii.Put the elephant in
iii.Close it

AND THEN ASK

Give 4 steps to put a giraffe in the refrigerator.
i.Open the refrigerator
ii.Take the elephant out
iii.Put the giraffe in
iv.Close it
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Harry the horse

Once upon a time, in a quaint little village nestled between rolling green hills, there lived a horse named Harry. Now, Harry was no ordinary horse; he possessed an uncanny ability to make the most mundane situations utterly hilarious. His knack for comedy made him the talk of the town, and villager...

Why do elephants have 4 feet?

Because in the animal kingdom 6 inches just wont do

So a lion and a cheetah set out for a foot race...

So a lion and a cheetah set out for a foot race to see who's the fastest in the animal kingdom. The cheetah wins. The lion say "Hey, you a cheetah!" The cheetah says "Nah, you lion."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

turtles birthday!

It was the Turtles birthday in the animal kingdom and he was turning 150 years. King of the animals was the lion and he proclaimed, (For Turtles birthday we should have a great party and each animal will say a joke to the Turtle for his birthday. Whoever disrepected the Turtle and did not make him l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The lion king gets into a fight and loses his teeth

Consequently he orders the rhinos his personal bodyguard to tell the animal kingdom to bring soft food and if any animal brings hard food they will stick it up in their ass.

A very long line of animals with soft food gets together in the Lion's palace towards the end of the line there is an ...

Who's King of the Jungle??!

This lion is prancing through the jungle bein' all proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decides to make sure all the other animals knows he's king of the jungle. He was so confident that he bypassed the smaller animals and went straight to the bear.

Grabs the bear by the...

The Lion and the Elephant

Everybody knows that the lion is the king of the jungle. Always has been, and for generations it seemed like he always would be. One afternoon, however, after a particularly poorly received watering hole decision, the elephant had had enough.

“Lion,” he said, “I’ve been your major domo for a...

The majestic lion

Lions, as everyone knows, are the kings of the animal kingdom. Apex predators of the Serengiti, there are few who can stand steady in the face of their mighty roar.

Unfortunately for lions, however, they are rather limited in their mobility. When it comes to such places as ice, water, and air...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.