This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why're squirrels the horniest animals in the animal kingdom

Because they're always looking for their next nut.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What are the drug dealers of the animal kingdom?

Monkeys because they are slinging shit all day

The animal kingdom had become overpopulated.

The lion, being the head of the animal kingdom, made a decree: a joke telling contest would be held at the end of the week. The tortoise, unanimously agreed upon as being the fairest of all the animals, was appointed as the official judge. The rules were simple: tell your joke to the tortoise, and i...

The animal kingdom decided to have its first official land speed race. All the animals signed up to see who's the fastest.

After the race was over, and the results were in.

The judges deliberated, and decided to disqualify the winner..

Reason given: "He was a cheetah".

What do you call a reptile that likes to start trouble in the animal kingdom?

An instigator


I'll see myself out...

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Joke Contest in the Animal Kingdom

Once upon a time, there was a great famine within the animal kingdom so all the animals gathered to solve this serious issue. Desperate times calls for desperate measures and they had to find a way to reduce the animal population. The owl, being the wisest in the kingdom, hatched an idea and said "E...

What's the slowest-moving body part in the entire animal kingdom?

Mole Asses.

Dolphins are the Ted Bundy of the animal kingdom

Raping murdering psychopaths, but white women love them.

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What is the best selling sex toy in the animal kingdom?

The armadildo.

When the animal kingdom had a poker party who didn't they invite?

The Cheetahs!

What's the difference between someone you want to ask to marry you and the rest of the animal kingdom?

Proposalable thumbs!

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The kinky jungle king orders fellow animals to an orgy party. (NSFW)

The kinky jungle king addressed his animal kingdom “Tomorrow is our annual sex orgy party. Participation is mandatory and I trust each one of you to make it hot if you want to survive under my rule.”

The kickoff of the much anticipated party finally arrived. The lion started his inspection wa...

Mu favorite series of riddles when i was in high school. Hope you all like it as much as i did <3

Give 3 steps to put an elephant in a refrigerator.
i.Open the refrigerator
ii.Put the elephant in
iii.Close it

AND THEN ASK

Give 4 steps to put a giraffe in the refrigerator.
i.Open the refrigerator
ii.Take the elephant out
iii.Put the giraffe in
iv.Close it
...

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A donkey had an IQ of 186.

He had no friends at all though. Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.

The Lion and the Elephant

Everybody knows that the lion is the king of the jungle. Always has been, and for generations it seemed like he always would be. One afternoon, however, after a particularly poorly received watering hole decision, the elephant had had enough.

“Lion,” he said, “I’ve been your major domo for a...

The majestic lion

Lions, as everyone knows, are the kings of the animal kingdom. Apex predators of the Serengiti, there are few who can stand steady in the face of their mighty roar.

Unfortunately for lions, however, they are rather limited in their mobility. When it comes to such places as ice, water, and air...

Why do elephants have 4 feet?

Because in the animal kingdom 6 inches just wont do

So a lion and a cheetah set out for a foot race...

So a lion and a cheetah set out for a foot race to see who's the fastest in the animal kingdom. The cheetah wins. The lion say "Hey, you a cheetah!" The cheetah says "Nah, you lion."

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turtles birthday!

It was the Turtles birthday in the animal kingdom and he was turning 150 years. King of the animals was the lion and he proclaimed, (For Turtles birthday we should have a great party and each animal will say a joke to the Turtle for his birthday. Whoever disrepected the Turtle and did not make him l...

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The lion king gets into a fight and loses his teeth

Consequently he orders the rhinos his personal bodyguard to tell the animal kingdom to bring soft food and if any animal brings hard food they will stick it up in their ass.

A very long line of animals with soft food gets together in the Lion's palace towards the end of the line there is an ...

Who's King of the Jungle??!

This lion is prancing through the jungle bein' all proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decides to make sure all the other animals knows he's king of the jungle. He was so confident that he bypassed the smaller animals and went straight to the bear.

Grabs the bear by the...

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