UPJOKE
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Accuses Jokes

My wife always accuses me of having a favorite child.

It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally.

A man's wife accuses him of "testiculating."

"What the hell is 'testiculating?'" the man asks.

Looking both irritated and impatient, his wife responds, "It's when a man is talking bollocks!"

The man considers this for a moment. "Tell me something," he finally says. "Are you on your period?"

"Yes," his wife answers. "Why?"<...

I have a friend that accuses me of pushing him around and talking behind his back

He is in a wheelchair and we get along quite well.

My wife accuses me of arson.

But I think she cheated on me.

A co worker accuses a wife of treating her husband "like a dog"

The wife was a not a native English speaker. So she responded "That is not true! I love dogs!"

a guy thing..

My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I
was
on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in
between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I
smelled something funny, so of course, I che...

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