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Yapping Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A ship goes down at sea

Two survivors wash up on the shore of an island--a man and a Chihuahua.
The only other inhabitants of the island are harmless native sheep that roam and feed aimlessly on the lush grass. Conditions are primitive, but the man and Chihuahua coexist peacefully for several years.
The man event...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife came back from walking our dog, Ashley.

The dog comes running in and sliding across the floor, and yapping...

I said, “Chill, Crazy Dog”.

Wife says, “She’s not crazy”

I said, “I was talking about the other bitch.”

How are puppet shows and politics similar?

They are both a bunch of silly characters yapping at each other with someone else's hands up their asses.

So Mama Rabbit and Papa Rabbit are trapped in this hollow log.

They had been chased by the old farmer's hound dogs across three field, two fences and a gulley. They never slowed down. They never gave up, but still they hadn't managed to get away. Seeing the log, they ran in as a last resort.

With a hound dog barking and yapping at either end, Mama Rabbit...

A dog walks into a saloon...

...and says "gimme a whiskey!" The bartender says "we don't serve dogs here." The dog looks him in the eye, says "I SAID, gimme a whiskey!!" and the bartender responds "AND I SAID, WE DON'T SERVE DOGS!", and he shoots the dog in the foot. The dog runs out yapping.

A little while later they he...

My girlfriend does not like my beagle Molly, so I have to rehome her.

My girlfriend does not like my beagle Molly, so I have to rehome her.

She is a purebured from a wealthy area and I have had her for 4 years. She likes to play games. She's not totally trained. Has long hair so she's a little high maintenance, especially the nails, but she loves having them do...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Her Majesties Corgis

One day a man was enjoying a pint at a pub located near Buckingham Palace. While he sat there, he couldn't help but notice another man drinking pint after pint with a gloomy face. Being a nice fellow, he decided to chat with the gentleman, and had the barkeep buy him a pint, as he sat next to him....

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