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After his team was eliminated from the World Cup,

The Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all expenses that fans of his country paid for to travel to Brazil.

According to sources close to the player, he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transactions.

What do the English do immediately after winning the FIFA World Cup?

Turn off the Playstation.

What do you call an American in the world cup final.

Ref

We hoped for a good clean World Cup Final.

But instead we got a Messi one.

Congrats to Argentina.

World Cup 2022

I was really surprised to see Canada qualify for the world cup this year, but it's trudeau...

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OPEN LETTER TO QATAR: youā€™re seriously banning homosexuality at your World Cup?

Come on guysā€¦

Did you know the Origami world cup is on TV....

It's only available on pay per view though.

Breaking World Cup News.

Ivan Toney has denied that the recent betting allegations cost him a place in the England Squad and states he is gutted he will not be involved in Monday's 2-2 draw with Iran..

World cup for firefighters

There was this world cup for firefighters(WCF) and the ref's would set a buliding on fire,and the team that stops the fire the fastest wins.

First up were the Germans.They come with some ladders and pipes filled with water.They stop the within 30 min.

Second are the Americans.Again wit...

Who are the pirates favorite team at the world cup?

Ahrr-gentina

Canada is sending a strong team to the World Cup.

Unfortunately, it's the drinking team.

A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats.

"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.

"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.

"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"

How much does it cost a small middle eastern country to host the World Cup?

A Qatar of a trillion

What would an English football fan do if England won the World Cup?

Stop playing FIFA and go to bed.

A Frenchman, an Argentine, and a Brazilian were publicly drinking in Russia during the 2018 World Cup.

But that is prohibited there, so they were captured by the police and taken to court.



The judge said that as the country was celebrating, they would take only 20 lashes, with the right to have a wish That wasn't be escape the punishment.



The Frenchman was the first, the...

A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.

The man says, "Who would ever miss the World Cup final?ā€

The guy replies, "Well that was my wifeā€™s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.ā€

The man says back, "Thatā€™s terrible, but couldnā€™t you get another close family member to come wi...

As the man made his way to his seat at the World Cup Final, he couldn't help but feel excited.

But as he sat down by the pitch, he noticed the seat next to him was empty. "What a waste," he thought to himself. "Who would have a seat like this and not use it?"

Curiosity getting the best of him, he leaned over to his neighbour and asked if someone would be sitting there. "No," the nei...

I like watching World Cup even though I donā€™t know anything about football

Sitting on the couch with a cold beer and watch those millionaires and billionaires running on the field, tiring themselves to half death just to entertain me, what a successful life!

With the bribery and corruption scandal surrounding the World Cup, I want to remind everyone that money can't change someone's mind.

But I'm willing to try.

FIFA World Cup 2018

A frenchman alks down the street, where he bumps into an Englishman

The Frenchman asks: How are you, what are you up to?"

Englishman: " Ah, nothing much, playing the Croatians in the World Cup tomorrow!"

Frenchman: "What a coincidence...?! We're playing them on Sunday!"

Three England fans on their way to the world cup fin a magic lamp..

Three England fans on their way to the world cup find a magic lamp on the road, the first one picks it up and a genie comes out!

"England fans?!" says the genie, puzzled at how they made it to the world cup.. "Well I guess you get one wish each like everyone else. What do you choose?"
...

China should never take part in the Cricket World Cup

They can screw over any country with just a bat

A man is sitting alone at the World Cup Final when another guy approaches him.

He asks 'Is this seat taken?'

The man replies 'No it's free'

The other man says 'Who would miss their chance to see the World Cup Final??'

The man replies 'It's actually my wife's, she passed away and this is my first World Cup without her.'

'Oh man, you didn't find any f...

This year's World Cup in Qatar has already broken a world record

The World Cup with the least amount of DUI's.

What did the bad World Cup announcer get in his stocking?

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

I'm really looking forward to the world Cup themed McDonald's burger.

The Qatar pounder

Did you hear the French rioted in the streets after losing the World Cup?

When is society going to come to terms with the fact that these anti-FIFA activists are bad for civil society?

Germany's failure in the World Cup wasn't that surprising

They have always struggled to progress in Russia.

I have a wedding at the same time of my World Cup match, can anyone take my place?

The place is St. Parish Church and the Bride's name is Paula.

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With the World Cup just days away I've finally prepared my house to get into the spirit

I locked up some immigrants in my basement and took their passports away until it's fully refurbished to watch the games.

We can't let Germany get knocked out of the world cup...

Last time it happened was in 1938 and to say they took it badly is a bit of an understatement.

Best One Liner of the World Cup So Far...

Let's face it... That's not the first time Germany has gone into Russia unprepared...

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Following England in the world cup...

Every time England play I try to get in the spirit so when they played Tunisia I had a kebab, when they played Panama I treated myself to a cigar, when they played Belgium I pulled out the chocolates, canā€™t fucking wait for this Colombia game!

This Brazil v. Germany World Cup Game.

World Cup joke

Well Germany was never very good at winning in Russia anyway...

Why hasn't India ever competed in the football World Cup?

Because every time they get a corner they try to build a shop on it.

The finals of any sport World Cup is like cows on an airplane.

The steaks have never been higher.

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Sex with my wife is like the ā€œEngland World Cup squad ā€œ

neither of us know why we're there or what we're doing, there's little passion or communication and we rarely even make it past the first stage.

It's often accompanied by lots of unnecessary noise, horrible dribbling and never a clean sheet.

It's always over far too quickly and when ...

I don't watch World Cup soccer.

If I wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes I'd go to a bar.

What does a Dutchman do when he's won the soccer world cup?

He turns off the game console and goes to sleep.

In order to help Russia's chances at the World Cup

The tournament has been moved to December.

A German walks into a bar after the World Cup.

As he is ordering a beer, he notices an American sitting at the edge of the bar.

After a tense pause, he says, "Hey American! How many world cups have you won?"

The American calmly replies

"Hey German. How many World Wars have you won?"

So the Irish are playing against the English in the World Cup Final, being held in Paris.

Three Irish and three English fans are waiting at the airport to get the train to the stadium.

The three English fans go up to the ticket counter and buy one ticket each. The three Irish fans go up to the counter and buy only one ticket. The English fans see this and one asks the Irish, " Ho...

Poland squad for World Cup

Bialkowski, Fabianski, Szczesny; Bednarek, Bereszynski, Cionek, Glik, Jedrzejczyk, Pazdan, Piszczek; Blaszczykowski, Goralski, Grosicki, Krychowiak, Kurzawa, Linetty, Peszko, Rybus, Zielinski; Kownacki, Lewandowski, Milik, Teodorczyk

Kindly pick your Wi-Fi password from any of the above.

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The Irony of the World Cup rules...

The Japanese qualified for the next round because they have less yellow

I'm rooting for Switzerland in the World Cup.

I don't know much about the team, but their flag is a big plus.

The most dangerous thing about the World Cup being held in Russia

is ensuring the Kremlin doesn't eat after midnight

Ghana has eliminated the U.S. from last two World Cups...

They're probably Ghana do it again.

What do you call 23 men watching the World Cup 2018?

The Scotland National Team.

Why isn't USA playing the world cup?

They don't want to get into another cold VAR situation in Russia

I don't reckon Germany will win the World Cup again

Historically speaking, they don't fight well when they head up to Russia.

England will in fact attend the World Cup.

They have, however, agreed to not go past the group stage.

Why are Italy out of the World Cup?

They didn't pasta ball good enough.

What does a kitten, a donkey, and a the world cup have in common?

They live together. Catastrophe!

I've decided to go on the "England World Cup Diet."

It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads!

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My friend said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night."

Mexico was on, we had burritos.
Japan was on, we had sushi.
USA was on, we had burgers.
Italy was on, we had pizza.
Tuesday is England, so we're going out.

One day, prior to the world cup, the US national soccer team manager was visiting Belgium

He was having a meeting with Roberto Martinez, and they were discussing the efficiency of their soccer team.

"Our population is over 300 millions and yet we have failed to qualify for the world cup, Roberto... How did you manage to do so with such a small country ?"

"You know Dave," sa...

I bought tickets to the world cup semi-finals and forgot I'm getting married that day

So is anyone here willing to get married that day?

England players visited a russian orphanage yesterday ahead of the world cup...

''It was heartbreaking to see their little faces with no hope'' said Vladimir aged 6.

What did the Helsinki Summit have in common with the 2018 World Cup?

Nobody was playing for the USA.

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With Japan beating Scotland in the rugby World Cup they just need to beat England

They already have a good record against whales

Did you guys see the goal from half field today in the World Cup?

It was a great U.S. attack from Midway

Most people are blaming FIFA for awarding Qatar the 2022 World Cup because of the Extreme Heat.

Well I am not worried about it because of the fans.

FIFA just got caught taking bribes for the 2010 World Cup.

What a kick in the balls.

Do you know why an Asian teams can never win the soccer world cup?

...Every time a player gets a corner, he builds a shop

Ronaldo and Messi will finally both meet each other during the World Cup...

at an Airport as they return their respective home countries.

My friends and I were watching the World Cup during our camping trip

It was in tents.

Now that Brazil is out of the World Cup they should go help the Thai kids stuck in that cave...

After all they're the world's most talented divers.

I bought a ticket to world cup finals without realizing itā€™s also my wedding day! Does anyone want to go in my place?

The church is St Antonyā€™s and the bridesā€™ name is Joanna..

Do you know what the last result of the World Cup was?

Spain - 8 Ethiopia - didn't

I sat next to an insurance salesman during Robbie Williams performance at the World Cup opening ceremony

And through it all, he offered me protection.

The English Women's world cup team visited an orphanage. "They looked helpless. They had a lack of hope in their eyes...."

said Aurora , age 3.

Why should they have hosted the World Cup in a different country this year?

.... because a brazillian things could go wrong

How many people do you have to kick out of their houses to have a World Cup?

Brazilians!

An Englishman walks into a bar...

There's usually a Scotsman, Irishman and Welshman too, but they're still at the Rugby World Cup.

Son: Dad, why is my sisterā€™s name Rose?

Me: Because your mom loves roses.

Son: What about me?

Me: It's a long story, FIFA World Cupā„¢ Russia 2018.

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Dragon Ball Z is real.

Messi collected 7 golden balls and successfully wished for a world cup.

Picabo Street is a former World Cup alpine ski racer and model. When she was inducted into the National Ski Hall of Fame in 2004, her home town of Triumph, Idaho dedicated an entire wing of the local hospital to her.

It's called the Picabo ICU.

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