World Cup Jokes

The Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all expenses that fans of his country paid for to travel to Brazil.

According to sources close to the player, he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transactions.

Turn off the Playstation.

Ref

I was really surprised to see Canada qualify for the world cup this year, but it's trudeau...

But instead we got a Messi one.

Congrats to Argentina.

It's only available on pay per view though.

Ivan Toney has denied that the recent betting allegations cost him a place in the England Squad and states he is gutted he will not be involved in Monday's 2-2 draw with Iran..

There was this world cup for firefighters(WCF) and the ref's would set a buliding on fire,and the team that stops the fire the fastest wins.

First up were the Germans.They come with some ladders and pipes filled with water.They stop the within 30 min.

Second are the Americans.Again wit... read more

Ahrr-gentina

Unfortunately, it's the drinking team.

"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.

"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.

"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"

A Qatar of a trillion

Stop playing FIFA and go to bed.

But that is prohibited there, so they were captured by the police and taken to court.



The judge said that as the country was celebrating, they would take only 20 lashes, with the right to have a wish That wasn't be escape the punishment.



The Frenchman was the first, the... read more

The man says, "Who would ever miss the World Cup final?”

The guy replies, "Well that was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.”

The man says back, "That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another close family member to come wi... read more

But as he sat down by the pitch, he noticed the seat next to him was empty. "What a waste," he thought to himself. "Who would have a seat like this and not use it?"

Curiosity getting the best of him, he leaned over to his neighbour and asked if someone would be sitting there. "No," the nei... read more

Sitting on the couch with a cold beer and watch those millionaires and billionaires running on the field, tiring themselves to half death just to entertain me, what a successful life!

But I'm willing to try.

A frenchman alks down the street, where he bumps into an Englishman

The Frenchman asks: How are you, what are you up to?"

Englishman: " Ah, nothing much, playing the Croatians in the World Cup tomorrow!"

Frenchman: "What a coincidence...?! We're playing them on Sunday!"

Three England fans on their way to the world cup find a magic lamp on the road, the first one picks it up and a genie comes out!

"England fans?!" says the genie, puzzled at how they made it to the world cup.. "Well I guess you get one wish each like everyone else. What do you choose?"
... read more

They can screw over any country with just a bat

The World Cup with the least amount of DUI's.

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

The Qatar pounder

When is society going to come to terms with the fact that these anti-FIFA activists are bad for civil society?

They have always struggled to progress in Russia.

The place is St. Parish Church and the Bride's name is Paula.

He asks 'Is this seat taken?'

The man replies 'No it's free'

The other man says 'Who would miss their chance to see the World Cup Final??'

The man replies 'It's actually my wife's, she passed away and this is my first World Cup without her.'

'Oh man, you didn't find any f... read more

Let's face it... That's not the first time Germany has gone into Russia unprepared...

Last time it happened was in 1938 and to say they took it badly is a bit of an understatement.

Well Germany was never very good at winning in Russia anyway...

Because every time they get a corner they try to build a shop on it.

The steaks have never been higher.

If I wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes I'd go to a bar.

He turns off the game console and goes to sleep.

The tournament has been moved to December.

As he is ordering a beer, he notices an American sitting at the edge of the bar.

After a tense pause, he says, "Hey American! How many world cups have you won?"

The American calmly replies

"Hey German. How many World Wars have you won?"

Three Irish and three English fans are waiting at the airport to get the train to the stadium.

The three English fans go up to the ticket counter and buy one ticket each. The three Irish fans go up to the counter and buy only one ticket. The English fans see this and one asks the Irish, " Ho... read more

Bialkowski, Fabianski, Szczesny; Bednarek, Bereszynski, Cionek, Glik, Jedrzejczyk, Pazdan, Piszczek; Blaszczykowski, Goralski, Grosicki, Krychowiak, Kurzawa, Linetty, Peszko, Rybus, Zielinski; Kownacki, Lewandowski, Milik, Teodorczyk

Kindly pick your Wi-Fi password from any of the above.

I don't know much about the team, but their flag is a big plus.

is ensuring the Kremlin doesn't eat after midnight

They're probably Ghana do it again.

The Scotland National Team.

They don't want to get into another cold VAR situation in Russia

Historically speaking, they don't fight well when they head up to Russia.

They have, however, agreed to not go past the group stage.

They didn't pasta ball good enough.

So is anyone here willing to get married that day?

They live together. Catastrophe!

It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads!

''It was heartbreaking to see their little faces with no hope'' said Vladimir aged 6.

Nobody was playing for the USA.

It was a great U.S. attack from Midway

Well I am not worried about it because of the fans.

He was having a meeting with Roberto Martinez, and they were discussing the efficiency of their soccer team.

"Our population is over 300 millions and yet we have failed to qualify for the world cup, Roberto... How did you manage to do so with such a small country ?"

"You know Dave," sa... read more

What a kick in the balls.

...Every time a player gets a corner, he builds a shop

at an Airport as they return their respective home countries.

It was in tents.

After all they're the world's most talented divers.

The church is St Antony’s and the brides’ name is Joanna..

Spain - 8 Ethiopia - didn't

And through it all, he offered me protection.

said Aurora , age 3.

.... because a brazillian things could go wrong

Brazilians!

There's usually a Scotsman, Irishman and Welshman too, but they're still at the Rugby World Cup.

Me: Because your mom loves roses.

Son: What about me?

Me: It's a long story, FIFA World Cup™ Russia 2018.

It's called the Picabo ICU.