The end is neigh

bors

This is my horse, Mayo.

**Friend:** why did you call him that, he’s not even a white horse?

**Mayo:** [neighs]

What do you call a disagreeable horse?

A neigh sayer

Man 1: “I love sandwiches!” Man 2: “Me too. By the way, I heard you just bought a horse! What did you name it?” Man 1: “Mayo.” Man 2: “Mayo? Why Mayo?”

Man 1: “Because he neighs.”

My sister had really loud shoes that sounded like a horse, so some family members started calling her that. I could see this was upsetting her.

"Guys, we have have to settle this," I said.

"If you think Jessica's a normal girl, say 'Aye,' but if you don't, say 'Neigh.'"

Why can’t you count on the horse senators support?

He always votes neigh

So what do you think of equestrian sports?

Neigh or nay?

The cow goes 'moo.' The horse goes 'neigh'. The pig goes

Can I see your licence and registration?

What do you call the horse that lives next door?

You Neigh-bor

What’s a horse’ favorite dance move?

The neigh-neigh.

Horses are so disagreeable

Always neighing votes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three horses walk into a bar..

One horse trots up to the barman, the other two grab a seat at a table. The horse at the bar orders three beers and grabs them with its hooves, then walks on two legs and joins the other seated horses.

First horse says: " Shit guys, last night at my race, it was some crazy shit. I was way ahe...

Many horses were asked if they like being used for riding or other activities...

...the unanimously answer was "neigh".

If you’re ever offered Ketamine

Just say neigh

What did the horse put on his BLT?

Mayo-neigh-s

I recently bought a ornery horse named Mayo and have been trying to have a serious talk with him about his behavior but he never responds...

...After about the 4th or 5th try he looked me dead in the eye and said, "Mayo doesn't talk, Mayo neighs."

What do you call the pigs that live next to horses?

Neigh Boars

Why aren’t horses allowed in the Catholic church?

Because they’re neigh sayers

I have a horse named Mayo

He really like condiments. When he wants one Mayo neighs

How did the cowboy greet the equestrian?

Howdy Neigh-bor

I have a family of horses living nextdoor to me.

They're my *neigh-*bors.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Quiet horse









*Whispers* "Neigh"

Two old men are having an argument over which one of them has lived their life to it's fullest

The first man, old, wrinkled and his scalp topped with few white strains of hair, proclaims:
>"I have only been able to achieve my proud age of 98 through a steadily upheld 6 hour workout routine on a daily basis. I may have lost some time, but it was completely worth it."

The second m...

Why are horses always contrarian?

All they say is neigh

If I ever get a horse I’m naming it “Mayo”

Because I can say “mayo neighs”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender goes: "Oh shit, horse! A horse!" He calls 911.

The patrons start freaking out: screaming, scrambling to escape. Drinks fall off tables. Glasses shatter.

The *horse* starts freaking out: knocking over tables, rearing, neighing, kicking like crazy.

One patron takes ...

My wife wants to break up with me because I would be too obsessed with horses.

I thought we'd have a stable relationship, but neigh...

As a farmer, my days can be a bit lonely. I find solace in discussing my dreams and goals with my animals. Well all of my animals except for the horses, never the horses...

I wouldn’t discuss anything with that group of neigh sayers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jack Black, Kyle Gass, and a horse walk into a bar

They sit down, order drinks, have a little bit of conversation.

The bartender is having a great time. The boys are funny, Jack Black is more charming in person than he has been in recent days. They're having some light banter about this and that.

The bartender asks them, "So boys...wha...

What's a horse's house called? A stable. What is a group of stables called?

A *neigh*bourhood

A man walks into his doctors

The man says "doctor help me I think I might be turning into a horse"
The doctor says "well have you had any symptoms"
The man says "neigh"

A bartender says to a customer, "Why the long face?"

The horse replied "Neigh."

What do you get when you cross horses with strong winds?

A tor*neigh*do

Kelly and Ron

Kelly: A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays two days, and comes back on Friday. How is this possible?
Ron: The horse’s name is Friday, right?
Kelly: Correct, my good neigh-bor

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, “can I get you anything?”

The horse replies, “neigh.”

So what do you call a street where sheep and horses are fighting over turf?

A baaad neigh-borhood.

...

I'm glad none of you are close enough to punch me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cowboy caught by the Indians

A cowboy was taken prisoner by a bunch of angry Indians. They were all prepared to kill him but their Chief declared that since they were celebrating the Great Spirit, they would grant the cowboy three wishes before he killing him. The cowboy can do nothing, but obey them.

The Chief comes up ...

There's an 18th century family

The children want to play horsey with their dad.

Child 1: All those in favor of father being the horse say Aye

Child 2: Aye

Child 1: Aye

Child 2: Father, what do you say?

Father: Neigh

Why Can't the Horse Government Ever Pass Anything?

All they can say is neigh.

When asked if he will accept Trump’s invitation to the White House, Triple Crown winner Justify said

“Neigh.”

Why are horses the most unproductive animal to have in office meetings?

Because they're all just neigh-sayers

The person I moved next to lives on a horse farm.

I guess you could say she’s my *neigh*bor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher is with her kindergarten class, teaching them about animals.

She asks Suzy, "What sound does a cow make?" Suzy responds, "Moo." The teacher turns to Bobby, "What sound does a horse make?" Bobby responds, "Neigh." The teacher turns to Tyrone, the only black kid in class. "What sound does a pig make?" Tyrone responds, "FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER!"

Have you ever eaten horse meat before? No?

Me neigh-ther.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of car does a Japanese horse drive?

A neigh-san

What do you get when you cross a horse with a dead trend?

Neigh-Neigh

What did Thor say to Sleipnir?

I say thee neigh!

What sound does a duck make when you kick it?

Quack! What did you think?
What sound does a horse make when you kick it?
Neigh!
What sound does a pig make when you kick it?
BACKUP! I NEED BACKUP!

...

Not a cop hater... Just a joke.

Where do horses like to hang out?

In the neigh-bourhood.

There are some that are against the practice of eating horse

but I say never mind the neigh sayers.

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