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He didn't know when to say neigh..........

A man was admitted to the hospital today with 25 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum... Doctors have described his condition as stable.

Should you take ivermectin for Covid?


A horse walks into a bar.

“Hey," says the bartender.

The horse neighs excitedly and says, “My friend, you read my mind!"

Why did Joe Rogan take ivermectin?

To prove the neigh sayers wrong.

A regular horse neighs

A Knight's horse kneighs

What kind of wine does a horse drink?

A chardo-neigh.

My horse’s name is mayo

Mayo neighs

I named my Horse “Mayo”

And sometimes, Mayo Neighs.

The end is neigh


Why did the horse get kicked out of the Barnhouse Union?

Because he always voted neigh.

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Hit medley

I am no native English, so probably there is some lost in translation.

This is an old Russian joke that my five-year-old who survived WWII just made up.

The pope is traveling Australia. At a gas station, the owner, yells "check, mate" - his horse mayo neighs and the pope falls on his h...

You can lead a horse to water

But it can still say "neigh"

A Pig, a Cow, and a Horse walk into a bar

The bartender says “ shall I start a tab, fellas? “ the Pig says “ Aye “, the Cow says “ Aye “, the Horse says “ Neigh “.

I held a committee against horses but it failed to pass through.

All of them were Neigh-sayers.

The cow goes 'moo.' The horse goes 'neigh'. The pig goes

Can I see your licence and registration?

I recently bought a horse and I decided to name him Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

[LONG] Three Robbers Are Making a Getaway.

Having escaped the museum with a Van Gogh, a Monet, and a Picasso, they toss them into their rucksack and get out of there. As they begin driving off, the police arrive on the scene and pursue them for 12 miles. Their car runs out of fuel and they break down behind a barn. Grabbing the paintings, th...

If we want Congress to agree we should just replace the people with horses

Sure the neighs would carry every vote. But hay, at least the housing market would be stable.

I'll show myself out

What do horses that live near each other call each other?


What did the horse say to the snowman that lived nextdoor?

Hay Neigh Brr

Why are horses always so negative?

Because they are neigh sayers.

How does Marjorie Taylor Green vote on Democrat sponsored bills?


What does a horse do when he eats a bunch of eggs and olive oil?

He Mayo-neighs

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I got into a discussion with my coworker today about surnames. How they originated from what people were known for. Smith, shoemaker, etc.

Well my great great great great great great grandfather's name was Horace P. Horsefucker.
He got a bad rap. It was consensual...though the horse said neigh.

I met a horse who keeps talking about the apocalypse.

He told me the end is neigh

What's a horse's favorite condiment?

Mayo.....cause mayo-neighs.

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I tried to fuck a horse once...

But she said no, and neigh means neigh.

Man 1: “I love sandwiches!” Man 2: “Me too. By the way, I heard you just bought a horse! What did you name it?” Man 1: “Mayo.” Man 2: “Mayo? Why Mayo?”

Man 1: “Because he neighs.”

Where do city horses live?

In the *neigh*-borhood


I bought a horse the other day. I named it mayo.
Mayo neighs.

Sorry if this has been posted before.

Why can’t horse committees accomplish anything?

They always vote “Neigh”.

What do you call a disagreeable horse?

A neigh sayer

My sister had really loud shoes that sounded like a horse, so some family members started calling her that. I could see this was upsetting her.

"Guys, we have have to settle this," I said.

"If you think Jessica's a normal girl, say 'Aye,' but if you don't, say 'Neigh.'"

So what do you think of equestrian sports?

Neigh or nay?

Two old men are having an argument over which one of them has lived their life to it's fullest

The first man, old, wrinkled and his scalp topped with few white strains of hair, proclaims:
>"I have only been able to achieve my proud age of 98 through a steadily upheld 6 hour workout routine on a daily basis. I may have lost some time, but it was completely worth it."

The second m...

My wife wants to break up with me because I would be too obsessed with horses.

I thought we'd have a stable relationship, but neigh...

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A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender goes: "Oh shit, horse! A horse!" He calls 911.

The patrons start freaking out: screaming, scrambling to escape. Drinks fall off tables. Glasses shatter.

The *horse* starts freaking out: knocking over tables, rearing, neighing, kicking like crazy.

One patron takes ...

Horses are so disagreeable

Always neighing votes

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Three horses walk into a bar..

One horse trots up to the barman, the other two grab a seat at a table. The horse at the bar orders three beers and grabs them with its hooves, then walks on two legs and joins the other seated horses.

First horse says: " Shit guys, last night at my race, it was some crazy shit. I was way ahe...

Many horses were asked if they like being used for riding or other activities...

...the unanimously answer was "neigh".

If you’re ever offered Ketamine

Just say neigh

What did the horse put on his BLT?


I have a horse named Mayo

He really like condiments. When he wants one Mayo neighs

Knock knock

Who's there?

Quiet horse

*Whispers* "Neigh"

What do you call the pigs that live next to horses?

Neigh Boars

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A cowboy caught by the Indians

A cowboy was taken prisoner by a bunch of angry Indians. They were all prepared to kill him but their Chief declared that since they were celebrating the Great Spirit, they would grant the cowboy three wishes before he killing him. The cowboy can do nothing, but obey them.

The Chief comes up ...

I have a family of horses living nextdoor to me.

They're my *neigh-*bors.

I recently bought a ornery horse named Mayo and have been trying to have a serious talk with him about his behavior but he never responds...

...After about the 4th or 5th try he looked me dead in the eye and said, "Mayo doesn't talk, Mayo neighs."

What's a horse's house called? A stable. What is a group of stables called?

A *neigh*bourhood

How did the cowboy greet the equestrian?

Howdy Neigh-bor

Why aren’t horses allowed in the Catholic church?

Because they’re neigh sayers

If I ever get a horse I’m naming it “Mayo”

Because I can say “mayo neighs”

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Jack Black, Kyle Gass, and a horse walk into a bar

They sit down, order drinks, have a little bit of conversation.

The bartender is having a great time. The boys are funny, Jack Black is more charming in person than he has been in recent days. They're having some light banter about this and that.

The bartender asks them, "So boys...wha...

As a farmer, my days can be a bit lonely. I find solace in discussing my dreams and goals with my animals. Well all of my animals except for the horses, never the horses...

I wouldn’t discuss anything with that group of neigh sayers.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, “can I get you anything?”

The horse replies, “neigh.”

So what do you call a street where sheep and horses are fighting over turf?

A baaad neigh-borhood.


I'm glad none of you are close enough to punch me.

What do you get when you cross horses with strong winds?

A tor*neigh*do

What do you call a horse that lives nearby

A neigh-bour

Why are horses the most unproductive animal to have in office meetings?

Because they're all just neigh-sayers

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