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Neigh Jokes

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He didn't know when to say neigh..........

A man was admitted to the hospital today with 25 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum... Doctors have described his condition as stable.

To neigh, or not to neigh...

That is equestrian.

Mayo is a horse

Mayo Neighs

A horse walks into a bar.

“Hey," says the bartender.

The horse neighs excitedly and says, “My friend, you read my mind!"

Should you take ivermectin for Covid?

Neigh

A horse walks into a bar..

The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

The horse says, "My boss just fired me, my kids won't talk to me and my wife just filed for divorce. Got anything to help with that?"

The bartender looks him up and down, and says "Neigh."

The end is neigh

bors

Why did the horse want to study genetics

Because he liked DN-neigh

I asked my horse who sang her favorite version of Nothing Compares 2 U.

She neighed.



(RIP)

A cowboy approaches this farmer and asks for a job...

... The farmer tells the cowboy that he has no vacancies - yet if the cowboy could do something special, he might consider.
The cowboy says: „Well, sir, I understand animals.“
„Ha,“ the farmer says, „how many times have I heard that before…“
In this moment, a cow moos from behind a s...

Why couldn't the horse congress get anything done?

They vote "neigh" on everything

A cross between a horse and a pig lives next to me.

He's a good neigh boar.

I can't stand all these negative horses

I've got no time for neigh sayers

What do you call a horse mixed with a sheep?

Your new neigh-baaa

A man in ancient Rome cannibalises his wife and frames his neighbor Ridiculus.

Ridiculus goes to court and says, "I'm-a in-nocent-a! You have-a gott to beli-eve-a me!" (Ancient Romans sounded like Italians, in case you didn't know.)

They sentence him to fight in the colosseum. Turns out he his quite good at fighting. In no time he becomes the best, and he makes a great ...

The cow goes 'moo.' The horse goes 'neigh'. The pig goes

Can I see your licence and registration?

How do you tell a police horse from a regular horse?

The police horse goes "Neigh-naw-neigh-naw-neigh-naw".

So there's this duck, trying to sell drugs to this horse

The duck hold out his wing and says: "Quack?" The horse shakes his head and says: "Neigh!"

Why did Joe Rogan take ivermectin?

To prove the neigh sayers wrong.

If we want Congress to agree we should just replace the people with horses

Sure the neighs would carry every vote. But hay, at least the housing market would be stable.


I'll show myself out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried to fuck a horse once...

But she said no, and neigh means neigh.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bullshit I can deal with

But horseshit? I say neigh

Horses are so negative.

All they do is neigh.

Due to increased fuel costs and because electric cars are so expensive, legislators voted today to reintroduce horse and buggy

The vote failed: one yea, 35 neigh

A horse walks into a bar.

Bartender asks, “Are you singing karoake tonight?”
Horse replies, “Neigh, I don’t like being the centaur of attention.”

Man 1: “I love sandwiches!” Man 2: “Me too. By the way, I heard you just bought a horse! What did you name it?” Man 1: “Mayo.” Man 2: “Mayo? Why Mayo?”

Man 1: “Because he neighs.”

What kind of wine does a horse drink?

A chardo-neigh.

You can lead a horse to water

But it can still say "neigh"

What's a horse's favorite dance move?

The neigh neigh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cowboy caught by the Indians

A cowboy was taken prisoner by a bunch of angry Indians. They were all prepared to kill him but their Chief declared that since they were celebrating the Great Spirit, they would grant the cowboy three wishes before he killing him. The cowboy can do nothing, but obey them.

The Chief comes up ...

Why did the horse get kicked out of the Barnhouse Union?

Because he always voted neigh.

What do horses that live near each other call each other?

Neigh-bors!

What would you like to name your horse?

Me: Mayo

Stablemaster: Why? He's not even a white horse!

Mayo: *neighs*

How does Marjorie Taylor Green vote on Democrat sponsored bills?

Neigh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got into a discussion with my coworker today about surnames. How they originated from what people were known for. Smith, shoemaker, etc.

Well my great great great great great great grandfather's name was Horace P. Horsefucker.
He got a bad rap. It was consensual...though the horse said neigh.

I met a horse who keeps talking about the apocalypse.

He told me the end is neigh

What did the horse say to the snowman that lived nextdoor?

Hay Neigh Brr

Where do city horses live?

In the *neigh*-borhood

What does a horse do when he eats a bunch of eggs and olive oil?

He Mayo-neighs

A Pig, a Cow, and a Horse walk into a bar

The bartender says “ shall I start a tab, fellas? “ the Pig says “ Aye “, the Cow says “ Aye “, the Horse says “ Neigh “.

What do you call a disagreeable horse?

A neigh sayer

What do you get when you cross a horse with a dead trend?

Neigh-Neigh

What's a horse's favorite condiment?

Mayo.....cause mayo-neighs.

So what do you think of equestrian sports?

Neigh or nay?

What's a horse's house called? A stable. What is a group of stables called?

A *neigh*bourhood

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