Wedding Ring Jokes

And suffering.

Well, it is circle, it literally has no point.

Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?
None, replied Johnny, cause the rest would fly away,
Well, the answer is four, said the teacher, but i like the way you're thinking.
Little Johnny says i have a question for you. If t... read more

I rushed in to tell my wife, but remembered why i was digging the hole in the first place.

- Best before.

(My first post)

Vet said we have a diamond in the ruff.

And finally, the suffer-ring

You can't imagine how good it felt to be free of debt for the first time.

“There are 3 birds on a wire, one gets shot, how many are left?”

Little Johnny raises his hand, “there are none left, once the one bird was shot the other two flew away ”

Teacher tells Johnny he is wrong, but she likes the way he thinks.

Johnny then inquired, “may I ask you a qu... read more

Once it's on your finger none of your friends ever see you again

But the bride was still wearing it, so the police came and now they won't give it back.

A lady noticed her friend was wearing her wedding ring on the wrong finger so she asked, "Why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" Her friend replied, "Because I married the wrong man!"

First, you get the engagement ring.

Then, you get the wedding ring.

And finally, you get suffering

I took off her wedding ring, returned her to her dad, and moonwalked my way out of the church.

He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, 'No, I... read more

Fingering your brother and finding your dad's watch.

Sir, that's a wedding ring.

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.

"Yeah teach?" he replies.

"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.

Matt answer... read more

Turns out the one ring, is a wedding ring

I got really nervous, said absolutely nothing, and strictly avoided eye-contact at all costs...

Little Johnny is sitting in his kindergarten class when the teacher asks the following question: "There are three birds sitting on a fence, and a hunter shoots one of the birds. How many are left?"

Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "There are zero birds left. One was shot, and the othe... read more

His father explains the three rings.

The first ring is the engagement ring. It tells her of your undying love.

The second ring is the wedding ring. It signifies your intent to stay with this woman for the rest of your lives.

Then comes the suffering.

Wedding rings

A young bride and groom to be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me" she asked the rather elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of thi... read more

wedding rings

The owner replies, "Sir, that's a wedding ring."

Back when I was married, my wife loved me so much that whenever she went out with her friends, she would take off her wedding ring and leave it at home, so that she didn't lose it.

My favorite part is when I take off the wedding ring and go back home moonwalking

Every time she goes to a bar alone she gives me her wedding ring so I can think about her all night long.

She said it was a wedding ring.

He pulls his rig to the side and approaches the man. The man says to him, "Oh, thank God you're here. I pulled into a gas station to get some gas. I was robbed at gun point, thrown into the trunk of my car and then driven here. Then they stripped me of all of my clothes, took my wedding ring and dro... read more

He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.

Sue offers to pay because she recently got a whole bunch of money. Mary asks her how, and she says a man hit her with his car so she sued him.

The next day, Mary shows up with a wedding ring on her finger. Sue asks what happened, and she says, "a guy hit me with his car, so I did just what yo... read more

I was at a store with my son and wife, so I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catch it. Then my son saw me doing it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, give me that! It's really expensive!"
<... read more

The husband replies, "Remarry? No way! I'd be too devestated by your death, I could never replace you."

The wife insists that her husband take a new wife, "If I go before you, I would hate for you to be alone. Please tell me you'd find a new wife."

The husband promises to honor his wi... read more

An elementary school math teacher asked her class one day, "If there are three birds on a wire, and a farmer shot one, how many are left?"

One little boy said two, but little Sally, realizing it was a trick question, said, "None, 'cause everyone knows that if you shoot at birds they all... read more

Teacher: 3 birds are sitting on top of a roof and someone throws a rock and hits one off. How many birds are left?
Student: There are none left because the other two fly away whenever the other one is hit.
Teacher: Well actually there's still two left but I like the way you're thinking.
... read more