My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused,

I couldn't accept all those perms and conditions.

Alan takes his wife fishing

On a usual trip he catches 10-15 fish. He's gobsmacked when the pair of them manage a haul of over 100! He decided to enter them both into the local fishing competition.

The day of the competition rolls around, and each of the Anglers take it in turns. The first man is a big beefy lad, and he...

A lady went into the hairdressers in Ashington (NE England)...

The hairdresser asked her what she'd like done.

"I'd like a perm please."

Somewhat puzzled the hairdresser began "Mary had a little learm..."

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