There was a lighthouse owner that noticed the tide was coming way too high and might wash away his home. So he called 911

It was an emerging sea.

Two thieves go to the church with their loot to confess..

.. their sins to the lord. They both decide to offer some part of the gold they robbed to the church to wash away their wrongdoings. But they couldn't decide how much of each of their loots to offer.

The first one thinks for a minute, draws a foot long circle on the floor and says, "Oh lord, ...

My wife asked me why I never go to Confession.

I told her I just clear my browser history when I want to wash away my sins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four nuns

There is a bus crash and four nuns are standing at the gates of heaven. Saint Peter comes out and says
“You have all lived very pious lives and are welcome into heaven! All you have to do is wash away your sins with this holy water.”

The first nun walks up and says “I once looked at a man’...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jägermeister on the house

I sometimes work as a bartender and last time a guy ordered four Jägermeister for himself. When I asked if he had anything to celebrate, he proudly said he celebrated his first blowjob.

That's worth congratulating of course and that's why I offered him a Jägermeister on the house. He thanked...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four nuns enter heaven...

Petrus awaits them at the Heavenly Gate and tells them "You must be without sins to enter. Wash away your sins in this basin filled with holy water." and points to said basin beside him.

The first nun goes ahead and confesses: "I once laid eyes on a penis".
Petrus replies "Very well, wash ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar

Orders 4 shots of tequila and drinks one after another. The bartender asks "Are you celebrating?"

"Something like that."

"What are you celebrating?"

"My first blow job."

"Hey, congrats! Let me buy you another."

"Naw, if 4 won't wash away the taste, nothing will....

a chicken walks into a bar

A chicken walks into a bar and sits down. As the bartender approaches the chicken, he can see that the chicken's eyes are bloodshot and that the chicken seems to have a nervous shake. The bartender asks the chicken if he's alright, and the chicken says he's fine. So the bartender asks the chicken wh...

There are 3 nuns two that are crying and one who is laughing...

a priest goes up to the first crying nun and asks, "What is wrong sister?" The nun says, "I broke into somebody's house." The priest says, "Go drink from the holy water it will wash away your sins." The next nun says, "Father I stole someone's car." The priest says, "Go drink from the holy water it ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.