UPJOKE
violincellopaul hindemithclarinetviolinistbassoonistorchestraclarinetistharpsichordistharpistpercussionistflutisttrombonistpianistpiano

Violist Jokes

What’s the difference between a violist and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of 4

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A violist's 3 wishes...

Joe is a violist in the Kansas Radio Symphony. One day, as Joe is walking home from work, viola in hand, he stumbles across a peculiar looking lamp. Being utterly dissatisfied with his life, Joe rubs the lamp, and a genie appears.



"Waddya want?" the genie asks in a Jersey accent. Joe ...

A priest, a rabbi, a blonde, a burnette, a chicken and a violist walked into a bar.

The bartender said, 'What is this, some kind of joke?'

What does a lawyer and a violist have in common?

Everyone's happy when the case is closed!

Why was the violist standing outside the door?

He didn't know when to come in

My wife stopped me on the way out the door with my viola case in hand.

Wife: Where do you think you're going?

Me: I got a gig.

Wife: A gig? I thought all your gigs got cancelled?

Me: I got a new one.

Wife: Who hires a violist when we're all quarantined?

Me: The health department. They want me to walk down the street playing my viola ...

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

The coffin has the dead person on the inside.



(Disclaimer: I'm a violist. Fellow bratsche players, please don't take offense.)

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.