UPJOKE
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What did the Egyptians use to travel to the Underworld?

A new bus.

What did Britons use to light their homes before candles?

Electricity.

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun,the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and aske...

What unit of measurement do you use to weigh bones?

Skele tons!
Stay spooky my dudes

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine i should use to get the best looking women

He said the ATM outside

What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.





...I'll see myself out.

What pickup line do guys use to get girls in Alabama?

You’re like a sister to me.

What cheat code do you use to get into the Army?

Left, left, left, right, left

Back in the day Oklahoma use to have a slogan “Oklahoma is OK!”, you know why it was just OK?

Because they couldn’t spell mediocre.

There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ

It's 150 minus the number of rolls of toilet paper you have at home.

What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?

Amazon kindle.

What do bee cops use to reign in prostitution in the hive?

HORNETS

What does Mike Tyson use to chat with the Pope?

Faithtime

My grandfather always use to say,

“As one door closes another opens.”

Lovely man.

Terrible cabinet maker.

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