Up All Night Jokes

Then it dawned on me

She’s got a great sense of humour. Send my love.

I finally got tired of waiting so I told him to get up, put his clothes on and leave.

if you get fired at the Unemployment Office, do you just switch to the other side of the desk?

Because he was afraid of the dark.

the difference between insomnia and amnesia.

Then you won't get any ZZZ's

Guess I have bat habits : /

As he arrived at classroom, he saw ten rods with platforms with ten birds on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing. He sat straight in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each of the bir... read more

She was wondering if there really is a dog.

and then it dawned upon me.

Then it dawned on me.

(Sorry if it looks like a repost I just thought of it and posted it here.)

Because he was resisting a rest.

His claim was that in order for simple organisms like bacteria to evolve into much more complex life like fish and mice and horses and gorillas and people, an enormous input of energy would be required, therefore it must be impossible.

I stayed up all night trying to think of something that w... read more

But I could never get it to come.

When he was done he'd pull up his pants and say "See ya next year kid"

I got a full house and four people died.

Then there was an awkward silence when he got up, put his pants on, and left.

The woman looked away to ponder for a few seconds, and then she looked back at him with a smile.

"Oh honey. You're the only man I ever slept with." She replied.

"Really?"

"Yes really. Everybody else kept me up all night."

"I'm two tired".

“God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, Good bye grandpa”

The father asked “why did you say good bye grandpa?”

The little girl said “I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing to say.”

The next morning, the family received news that the grandfather had inde... read more