Two Heads Jokes - 8 Hilarious Two Heads Jokes

Two Heads

God gifted man with two heads, but only enough blood to run one at a time.

What has two heads and six legs?

Nirvana

A man with two heads goes to the doctor

and says “Doctor, I’ve sprouted another head, but the texture of the hair on my new head is totally different. I want both my heads to have the same hair texture - what do I do?” and the doctor says “on one, condition”

(this is an original joke I think)

Every man has two heads...

One holds the brain, and the other makes all the decisions.

They say two heads are better than one

But sometimes I just don't need that much lettuce.

My father had five arms. He crashed his car into a guy with two heads. The case went to court but neither driver was prosecuted.

The judge said it was a freak accident.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man returns home from his nightly pub visit to his wife sitting on the couch playing with two stray cats. He says to her "Hon, It's ok. Don't get mad, I can explain." The wife looks up and sees her husband has two heads. "Holy hell, John, what happened to you?" she screamed.

"Well," he explained, "I was leaving Harry's Pub just around ten PM like I always do when I decided to take a short cut through the alley way. That's where I stumbled and almost tripped on this lamp. So I pick it up and give it a rub, and out pops this genie who tells me he will give me three wishes...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench when a bum comes up to them.

“Hey!!" he bellows, in his hoarse voice. "I got a riddle for you two. What has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks like shit?"

The Polish guys look at each other, and one of them shrugs "I give up, what has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks like shit?"

"You and your f...

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