A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC Nothing was moving.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down the window and asks,
"What's going on?"


"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fir...

Did you hear about the depressed traffic jam?

It was really bummer-to-bummer.

In the USA, a driver gets stuck in a traffic jam...

In the USA, a driver gets stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Standing column.

Suddenly someone knocks on the side window. He lets down the window and asks: "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped President Trump. They are demanding a ransom of $ 100 million or they will pour...

What do British people do when there is a traffic jam at a roundabout?

They form a Q.

There is a large traffic jam in Washington DC

A man gets caught in a huge traffic jam in DC. While sitting motionless on the road a man approaches him on foot. The man rolls down his window and asks what’s going on.

“The whole capitol is in chaos, armed men have stormed the Capitol Building and are holding congress hostage, they say they...

I really don't understand why people like traffic jams...

But apparently they are lining up for it.

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Whats something you can say in a traffic jam and during sex?

"I better call my wife and tell her I'm gonna be home late"

A man is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC.

The traffic is stopped for miles ahead.
Another man walks up next to him and says, "Sir, terrorists have kidnapped every member of congress. If they don't get $100,000,000 in ransom, they will to cover them in gasoline and burn them. I'm here to collect donations."
The man asks, "how much ...

A woman found herself in a traffic jam...

on the freeway in Washington DC. Traffic was locked up for over an hour when she saw some men walking towards her car carrying buckets. She leaned out of her window and asked them what was going on up ahead. The men explained that terrorists had taken over the capitol and they were holding Congress...

What do you call a traffic jam in Compton?

A blood clot

A man stuck in a traffic jam

some guy came and knocked on his windows and said "Donald Trump has been kidnapped, the kidnappers ask for 1 billion dollars or they will burn him with gasoline , we're asking for donation "
So the man in the car asked and on average how much does a person donate?
so the guy replies "between o...

What do cars put on their toast?

Traffic jam.

What do you call a traffic jam full of trucks in Wisconsin?

A cheesy pickup line.

What is a car's favourite food?

Traffic jam!

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as it's going by. As he gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Impeccable timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Fe...

What happened when the strawberry attempted to cross the road?

There was a traffic jam

A truck carrying fruits accidentally spilled them all over the expressway

It caused a traffic jam

A man was sitting in traffic when a cop knocked on his window.

He rolled down the window and asked the officer: "Why is there such a traffic jam?"

Officer: "A group of terrorists kidnapped a few politicians and are blocking the road. They have threatened to burn the politicians alive in 1000 gallons of gasoline if they don't get a 5 million dollar ransom...

A Smuckers truck blew up in front of me today

I got stuck in a horrible traffic jam

Why did the guy throw jelly into the street?

He wanted to create a traffic jam.



(yes I know that they are different substances)

Billy was very proud of his new car.

He was driving back home after striking a great deal with the salesman. As he neared the intersection, a grey Toyota crashed into his car at a high speed. He was furious, as he knew he had the right of way. He was about to let loose a barrage of four letter words at the other driver, when a gorge...

On the freeway, a truck spilled its cargo of strawberries, which were then crushed by the cars followed behind.

Caused a traffic jam.

What do you get when you get 10 cars and a ton of sugar and you put it in a blender?

You get a load of traffic jam

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Here's a collection of the best/worst dad jokes I know.

"When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down."

"Why are skeletons always so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin."

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"Why can't T rexes clap their hands...

What do bus drivers put on their morning pancakes?

Traffic jam

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the idiot put peanut butter on the road?

To go with the traffic jam!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar...

...and see one old friend looking depressed at a table. Wondering what is happening, he greets him.

\- Dude what's up?

\- You won't believe what's happening to me. Two weeks ago, someone broke into my car and stole my brand new radio.

\- Any damage to the car?

\- Not a...

What’s the worst jelly to put on your sandwich?

Traffic Jam

**My daughter read me this from her Gogurt wrapper. My answer was Toe Jam.

An 18-wheeler spilled a load of strawberry preserves on the interstate today

It was a real traffic jam

What do you call a group of cars playing instruments?

A Traffic Jam

Did anyone know what happened to that passion fruit truck crash yesterday?

It caused traffic jam.

What's on a toast that got run over by a car?

Traffic Jam

A man is tailgating a large strawberry truck on the highway...

The truck tips over before an exit and starts a pile up. The man gets out of his car, and scratches his head, “Now this is a Traffic Jam.”


I made this myself in traffic lol.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Green Gnome [NSFW]

A man goes to an adult super store in search of a new and exciting toy to please his wife. He asks the store owner if he has anything special. The store owner shows him what he refers to as The Magic Green Gnome, but it's very expensive. The man decides that there is no price too steep for his wife'...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes for 1/31

The CEO of McDonald’s has announced he’ll be resigning later this year. It’s the first time in history that a McDonald’s employee has quit and given more than five seconds notice.

The New Hampshire lottery is selling scratch ‘n sniff tickets that smell like bacon. The aroma is there to remin...

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