I’m writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes..

It’s only a draft at the moment.

Why can't we just nuke tornadoes?

That way nobody will die from the tornado.

Tornadoes are alot like divorces.

First they suck and blow,

Then they take your house.

A man is having a house built in Kansas

A man is having a house built in Kansas. He drives to the site to see how its going. The crew is hanging up rafters with suspicious looking braces.

The man finds the General Contractor and asks him about the braces.

"Oh, them. Them, there's called Hurricane Ties." says the GC

"...

I went to Texas as a tourist only to witness one of the tornadoes it has an abundance of

And I was blown away

How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

What do tornadoes and women have in common?

In the beginning there's a lot sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.

What do tornadoes and divorce in the south have in common?

Either way, someone's losing a trailer.

Why are tornadoes always named after women?

Because when the tornadoes arrive they are warm and moist but when they leave, you only have half a house, no car, and your entire life lies in ruins.

Kids are like tornadoes

They're neat to watch but you can't help but be scared when they head for your house

Why was Jimmy killed by a tornado?

He heard that tornadoes kill less people than a common flu and went out for a walk.

Which tornadoes are the most refreshing?

F5 tornadoes.

Did you know that tornadoes can displace shellfish?

Apparently the locals in danger areas are able to identify oncoming bad weather due to the shellfish preceding it.

They call it the clam before the storm.

What do women and tornadoes have in common?

First they are wet, then stormy and afterwards the house is gone.

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