Guy goes into the bank, walks up to the teller and says, "Hiya Toots, I wanna make a fuckin' deposit over here."
The teller is a little taken aback by the customer's language, but does her best to be professional.
"Sir, I'm more than happy to help with that, but I'm going to need to ask you to mind your language while we conduct our business."
"Whoa, Lady, take it easy," the man says, "I just ...
Hookers dont fart
They let out little prosti-toots
What do you call a cat who likes to eat beans?
Puss 'n' Toots!
What did the old timey New Yorker say to the woman with dirt on her shoes?
"You gots schmutz on your foots, Toots!"
What do you call a hooker's farts?
Quack a doodle doo
A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.
She said, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anyt...
An older lady visits a doctor to seek help with her frequent gas issues.
**Lady:** Doctor, you've got to help me. Lately I've had uncontrollable gas. Fortunately all my toots are silent and emit no odor. As a matter of fact, in the few minutes you've been in here I've probably tooted 10 times and you can't even tell.
**Doctor:** I see. I have a couple of ideas. Le...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Engineering pickup lines
Engineering pickup lines:
Hey babe, what's your factor of safety?
Can I use my sigma to find your tau max?
What frequency does it take to make your O-me-ga
How big does your period need to be to reduce our frequency
How about you and I go have a couple moment ...