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Tom Jones Jokes

Doctor: I am afraid you are suffering from Tom Jones syndrome.

Patient: Is it common?

Doctor: It's not unusual.

Tom Jones syndrome is a real thing. And it’s not rare.

In fact, it’s not unusual.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Legendary Welsh singer Tom Jones visits Legendary Liverpudlian Cilla Black,with an offer of amazing sexy sex.

He says, "I'll make love to you three times, and each time will be better than the last. It'll be the best sex you've ever ever had. I'll need a sleep in between bouts, but apart from that it'll be sex sex sexy sex."

Cilla Black agrees, and Tom Jones, true to his word, gives her the most amaz...

I told my friend he needs to stop singing Tom Jones at random, he replied...

It's not unusual...

Patient...Dr can you please help me I keep waking up thinking I'm Tom Jones. Is this normal ???

Dr ... It's not unusual

What's brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones.

"Tom Jones Syndrome"

A man is in the waiting room at his Doctor's office and finally, the Doc arrives.

"Hello Jim what seems to be the problem today?"

Jim replies "Doc, you've gotta help me. I can't stop singing 'She's a Lady' by Tom Jones!"

The Doc says "oh yes, that is 'Tom Jones Syndrome'"
...

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Tom Jones' Disease

A Man goes to the Doctor and lays out his problems. He says whenever he sees a cat he yells "What's New, Pussycat?"
If he sees a woman while on the street, he exclaims "She's A Lady!" which is really driving his wife crazy.
And speaking of his wife he keeps calling her Delilah, when her name...

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Tom Jones Syndrome

A man goes to the doctor with a complaint, "In my right ear, all I can hear is, 'What's New, Pussycat?'. In my left ear, 'Delilah'."

The doctor says, "We call that 'Tom Jones Syndrome'."

"Is that a common malady?"

"It's Not Unusual."

My wife finds it strange that my toddler is a huge Tom Jones fan

"Well, it's not unusual" i told her

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A guy goes to the doctor

He says, ”You got to help me, Doc! I have the song, “What’s New,Pussycat” stuck in my head. It just keeps going around and around. It’s driving me CRAZY!”

Doctor replies, “Hmmm, that sound like Tom Jones Syndrome.”

“Tom Jones Syndrome? Is that serious??”

“Well, it’s not unusual....

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A woman took her husband to the doctor.

"He can't talk, only sings!" she told him in some distress. "I can't communicate with him anymore!"

The doctor asked the husband, "Is this true? Are you only able to sing now?"

The husband looked at the doctor and burst out, "Well she's all you'd ever want, she's the kind I'd like to f...

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Tom Jones Syndrome

This guy went to his doctor and said,

“Doc, I can’t stop singing certain songs. All morning I’ve been humming ‘The Green, Green Grass Of Home.’ Yesterday it was, ‘Delilah.’ Last week I sang ‘What’s New Pussycat?’ at least 100 times! What’s wrong with me?”

The Doctor says, “Sounds ...

Tom Jones disease

A sick man visits a doctor. The doctor runs a few tests, and comes back to the patient saying "Well, it looks like you have Tom Jones disease".

The man asks, "Tom Jones disease? Never heard of it, is it common?"

The doctor replies, "It's Not Unusual".

How rare was the disease that killed Tom Jones' wife?

It's not unusual

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sleeping Pills

A man walks into his doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need sleeping pills".

"Why, what's going on?", replies the doctor.

"I have these two songs constantly stuck in my head and I can't sleep! You've got to help me!", implores the man.

"Well which two songs?" asks the doctor....

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint.

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint.

"Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embaracing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming,...

In 1964, a couple of former St. Louis Cardinals baseball stars were on vacation in Wales....

Red Schoendienst and Stan Musial decided to head to the UK on vacation with their wives after the 1964 Major League Baseball season. The two had retired as players the year before and had just finished their first full season as members of the staff - Musial as vice president, Schoendienst as a coa...

A 90 year old man goes to the doctor.

Full disclosure, I got this joke from Tom Jones on Marc Maron's WTF podcast today. Tom's 80, mentally spry like he's 30, and he swears like a sailor.

----
90 year old man goes to the doctor.
Says “Doctor, it used to be that I’d get these erections so hard that I couldn’t even bend them ...

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Man goes to the doctor.

Man: "Doc, you gotta help me. I sing spontaneously, and uncontrollably."

Doctor: what do you mean?

Man: Well whenever I see a woman on the street I start singing "She's a lady". And Any time I cross paths with a cat I'll sing "What's new pussy cat?".

Doctor : What you have is...

A man goes to the doctor....

He says, "I don't know what's happening: I've grown a hairy chest, sideburns and I'm started talking in a Welsh accent.

"Ah", said the doctor, "I think you have Tom Jones sydrome".

"I've never heard of that", says the man, "is it very common?"

The doctor says, "It's not unusual....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill can't get the song "What's New, Pussycat?" out of his head.

Bill goes to the doctor, and says "Doctor, doctor, you've gotta help me! I can't get the song "What's New, Pussycat?" out of my head."

Doctor says "Well, that's not really a medical condition, is it?"

Bill says "You don't understand, it's been in my head for three or four months, const...

Dyslexic man walks into a bra

Whole joke in title! New era of convenience! In mother Russia, joke laughs at you!

***Bonus***, since you came in here anyway:

Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he repli...

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So a man goes to the doctor.

The doctor says "Now sir, what seems to be the problem?" And the man tells him "Well it's a little embarrassing you see SEX BOMB SEX BOMB! YOU'RE MY SEX BOMB AND BABY YOU CAN TURN ME ON"

The doctor is stunned and says "what the hell was that?"

"That's the problem doc every now and th...

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Can't get this song out of my head...

A man is diligently at work when he realizes he's been humming "What's New, Pussycat?" for the last several hours. As he starts thinking about it, he realizes he has a hard time thinking of anything else.

Perturbed, he goes back to work and after a long day of accomplishing little, goes home...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Joes (5/13)

Alright guys, here we are to recap the day's jokes. Let's get started.

First off in the news, it looks like the TSA arrested a woman for singing Whitney Houston on an airplane - but you should've seen what the TSA did when they caught those ridiculous musical militants of the Elton Jihad.
...

A woman goes to the doctor due to some distressing symptoms.

She tells him she can’t stop dancing and crooning ballads.

“Ma’am, you have Tom Jones syndrome” he says.

“Oh no! Is it rare?” She asks.

“Well, it’s not unusual....”

Top 10 worst jokes!

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

1.Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.


2.A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."


3.Two peanuts walk into a ba...

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