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A psychiatrist is conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their kids.

“You all have obsessions,” he observes.

“You,” he says to the first mother, “you're obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.”

He turns to the second mum, “Your obsession is money. It shows in your child's name, Penny”.

He goes to the third mother, “Your ob...

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A psychologist is conducting a group therapy session on 3 young Mother’s and their small children...

When everyone is in the room he starts by telling the Mother’s that the reason they are there is because they all have extreme addictions. He goes on to say that their actions are so strong they have even named their children after them.

To the first mother he says “ you have an addiction to...

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Carrot, cucumber, penis at a group therapy session.

The cucumber tells the group “ my life is so terrible people put me in a jar liquid and set me on a shelf for months and mutate me into something completely different” The carrot says no my life is way worse, people skin me alive, & eat my babies!” The penis pipes up and says “I think my life is...

Patient: Doctor, these therapy sessions haven't really helped me.

Psychiatrist: You've just recently started, you have to give it time. So far you've only come here for a total of 8 or 9 hundred dollars.

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A good shit is like a good therapy session.

After letting everything out, you feel all the pressure relieved, and thankfully only one person could hear it.

At my therapy session today, I suddenly remembered that as a child I was molested by a clown.

I never knew I had IT in me.

Will Smith walks into a group therapy session for depression...

“So that’s it, huh? We some kinda suicide squad?”

Jim asks his formerly obese friend Phil how he has lost weight so fast

Phil replies, "I tell you my secret. There's this clinic I went to. They have a special program that makes you lose weight incredibly fast. Here's the address."



So next weekend Jim has his first appointment at the clinic. He is welcomed by the doctor who sends him upstairs to the firs...

Very slightly based on a true story

When I was in college, our RA was in a frat, Alpha Chi Rho (usually Chi Rho for short.) They had this setup with some various clubs, athletes usually of some sort, because a lot of them majored in physical therapy and/or massage therapy, where they'd have the guys in the frat give therapy sessions.<...

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The monster under the bed

A man is upset about his irrational fear that there is a monster under his bed. He decides this needed to change so he starts going to a therapist. After months of therapy, his fear is still there, so he leaves the therapist to find someone who can cure him.

A month later the therapist runs i...

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch,...

... the psychiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

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