Therapy Session Jokes - 12 Hilarious Therapy Session Jokes

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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children...

"You all have obsessions," he
observed.

To the first mother, from Toronto, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, from Montreal, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's...

Lots of people thought I was a fool for going into debt because I overspent on therapy sessions.

But now I'm laughing all the way to the bank.

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A good is like a good therapy session.

After letting everything out, you feel all the pressure relieved, and thankfully only one person could hear it.

Patient: Doctor, these therapy sessions haven't really helped me.

Psychiatrist: You've just recently started, you have to give it time. So far you've only come here for a total of 8 or 9 hundred dollars.

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It's my birthday today and I'm fuming with my family, they all clubbed together to get me a course of psychiatric therapy sessions.

I'd asked for a crossbow.

Will Smith walks into a group therapy session for depression...

“So that’s it, huh? We some kinda suicide squad?”

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A psychologist is conducting a group therapy session on 3 young Mother’s and their small children...

When everyone is in the room he starts by telling the Mother’s that the reason they are there is because they all have extreme addictions. He goes on to say that their actions are so strong they have even named their children after them.

To the first mother he says “ you have an addiction to...

At my therapy session today, I suddenly remembered that as a child I was molested by a clown.

I never knew I had IT in me.

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Oldie but goodie

At Bob’s regular therapy session, the discussion move towards his dreams.

Bob mentions he keeps having a recurring dream that he is a tepee touring the Pow Wow circuit.

He is not of indigenous origin so his therapist is intrigued and wonders how this could be.

He asks Bob to ...

Very slightly based on a true story

When I was in college, our RA was in a frat, Alpha Chi Rho (usually Chi Rho for short.) They had this setup with some various clubs, athletes usually of some sort, because a lot of them majored in physical therapy and/or massage therapy, where they'd have the guys in the frat give therapy sessions.<...

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The monster under the bed

A man is upset about his irrational fear that there is a monster under his bed. He decides this needed to change so he starts going to a therapist. After months of therapy, his fear is still there, so he leaves the therapist to find someone who can cure him.

A month later the therapist runs i...

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch,...

... the psychiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

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