This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.

The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says, 'Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, ...

My friend Joe recently started the Dolly Parton Diet...

And to my surprise, it works! It ACTUALLY made Joe lean!

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Dolly Parton and Princess Diana pass away on the same day.

They arrive at the pearly gates at the very same time.

Saint Peter is waiting in judgment. With both women vying for entry, St. Peter announces, “Ladies, I only have one more space in Heaven today. You’ll have to prove you’re worthy.”

Dolly Parton laughs and says “No problem, Pete!” ...

Why did Dolly Parton help fund the COVID-19 vaccine?

So that we'd all get back to working 9 to 5.

Dolly Parton has invested $1m in the Moderna covid vaccine

It's working 9 to 5 perecent of the time, what a way to keep us living

Dolly Parton just got a dose of her own medicine.

Literally.

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Did you hear about Dolly Parton's husband becoming a professional sperm doner?

* He's jerkin' 9 to 5, what a way to make a living.



(I made this up and i'm kinda proud' feel free to spread it around the globe try it on your friend / spouse now and tell me if it got a smile / laugh - or a slow head shake and a sigh)

Dolly Parton just announced she's buying Big Lots, Piggly Wiggly, and Harris Teeter.

She's combining them to open a superstore called Big Wiggly Teeters.

Dolly Parton is such a beloved figure in America, the DSM-5 has already classified a disease that American's might feel when she dies.

Post-Parton Depression

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Dolly Parton and Princess Diana are at the pearly gates of Heaven...

St Peter, standing guard, asks them to share their contributions with him. Dolly Parton lifts her shirt and shows him her boobs. Then Princess Diana takes a cup, pees in it, and hands it to St Peter. St Peter asks them to hold on for a moment and then walks away. When he returns, he lets Princess Di...

Dolly Parton's made a major move into the grocery business...

She bought the chains Piggly Wiggly, Giant and Harris Teeter, and is going to rename them "Giant Wiggly Teeters".

TIL Dolly Parton has small feet...

I guess nothing grows in the shade.

What does Dolly Parton put in her swimming pool?

Chlorine chlorine chlorine chlorineeeee

How do you pick Dolly Parton's Kids out of a crowd?

They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips.

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Just bought my new car stereo, which is voice activated.

If I shout "country" it plays Dolly Parton, if I shout "rock" it plays Guns and Roses. I was driving through town the other day when some children ran out in front of me, I shouted "FUCKING KIDS!" and it started playing Michael Jackson.

Celebs at the Pearly Gates

Queen Elizabeth II and Dolly Parton are standing at the pearly gates when St. Peter approaches and greets them.

He says "Greetings! It's not often that we have such women of notoriety join us at the same time! However we're swamped today and can only let one of you through, so you're going to...

I had a nightmare last nigh

I dreamed I was Dolly Parton's baby and she was bottle feeding me.

When are people.....

When is someone going to tell Dolly Parton that 9+5 don’t make eleven?

Me and my flat chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today.

The counsellor asked us; "What seems to be the problem?"

"Well," I said, "Dolly Parton here thinks I'm too sarcastic."

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Looking for similar jokes to 'Does a bear shit in the woods?'

Hey /r/jokes,

Looking for some sarcastic one liners. All I got so far is:

* Does a bear shit in the woods?
* Is the pope catholic?
* Is grass green?
* Is the sky blue?
* Is the tin-mans cock made of sheet metal?
* Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Blasphemous Joke..

So, Dolly Parton and the Queen of England somehow end up dying at the same moment and find themselves at the Pearly Gates in front of St. Peter.

He tells them both that there's only enough room for one of them to pass, so they need to prove themselves.

Dolly Parton simply opens her blo...

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