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A sports car is driving in Amish country.

He skids on the road and crashes into a ditch. He gets out unharmed and looks at his car in dismay. A few minutes later an Amish man comes riding by in a horse and buggy. The Amish man stops and asks, "Would you like some help, English?". The man quickly says he would, and just as quickly the Am...

Nelly The Elephant caught Covid.

Nelly The Elephant caught Covid. When the doctors asked her where she thought she got it from she went "Trump Trump Trump"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two fat girls Nelly and Mag are walking across a bridge when Nelly tells Mag she really needs to take a piss.

Mag says just scoot up on the railing and go, so Nelly drops trow and gets up on the railing and let's fly.Now Nelly looks down over the edge and starts laughing...What's so funny? Mag asked Nelly. Look look in the river...I'm peeing on a canoe ha ha ha.
Mag looks over and also starts laughing, Y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My gf recently dumped me because she is like that Nelly Furtado, she's like a bird, she always flies away. But ya know what, I'm like a bird too!

I shit on her car.

I have ranked the greatest musicians of all time in order:


Erika Badu

Vanilla Ice



Green Day



Nine inch Nails


George Strait

Ilene Woods

Vince Gill


Yoko ono

Otis Redding


Irish accent recommended

A young Irish man named Paddy was moving away to London. He went to his next door neighbors (3 miles away) to say his goodbyes. His neighbors, Mr and Mrs Dunne, said their goodbyes and they asked Paddy

"Could you find our daughter Nelly Dunne and ask her why she isn't writing back home p...

A woman walks into a pet shop

She sees a beautiful parrot, and asks the shop keeper if he says any words. The shop keeper says, "If you hold a match under his left foot he sings Highway to hell."

The lady is sceptical at first, but she tries it and the parrot sings Highway to hell. Amazed, she asks the shop keeper what e...

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