Both me and my girlfriend are submissive

we are still working out the kinks of our relationship

What's the difference between a mosquito and a submissive woman?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?

Collared greens.

What's the difference between a vegan and a straight male submissive?

A vegan craves umami. A male sub craves "ooh mommy".

You know what I think of submissive citrus fruits.

They are sublime.

Did you hear about the prison that grouped its inmates based on if they were dominant or submissive?

They had the place sorted top to bottom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We should vote more submissive bisexuals into office...

Because they actually live to serve everyone.

Everyone thinks I’m a submissive because I’m wearing this collar.

I really just want to repel all of these fleas.

[OC] I asked my friend for advice as I was being too submissive

"Say no more." He replied.

What do you call a submissive dog?

A sub-woofer

Am I a submissive guy?

You tell me.

Dating these days

Boy: Hi

Girl: What?

Boy: How are you?

Girl: Do I know you?

Boy: I'm Rich..

Girl: Oh! Hi. My name is Mary but you can call me "Baby" I'm 19 & I am very submissive. I love short men, especially like you & I'm glad to meet you. So, when are we going out?
...

What do you call a submissive who likes to bark like a dog?

A subwoofer.

Adam's new wife

Adam had been in the garden of Eden for several years without someone to share his life with. One day, he asked God for a companion.

God said to him, "I can give you a wife that will be everything you could dream of. Humble and submissive, she will make your life nothing but pleasurable. Howe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, This guy is sitting at the bar, when he sees another guy sit next to a girl, strike up a conversation, and then about 15 minutes later, they leave together. He observes this happen every night, but with different women for a week...

Finally he is so curious as to what this guy's secret is, he approaches him, and says "Bro, you gotta tell me what your secret is! I've watched you walk in here, and take home a different woman every night for over a week now! What are you saying to them?"

The stranger smiles sheepishly, and ...

Trump gets stumped

Donald Trump is reading the news and the press calls him a word he does not know the meaning to.

"Mike!", he barks.

Mike Pence scurries into the office nervously.

"Yes Mr. President?"

"What does this word mean?", Trump demands.

"Huh, I don't know Mr. President."...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four men in a prison

Four men in a prison cell, a rapist, a murderer, a psycho and a submissive person. The rapist says, "If there was a cat in here I'd f*ck it!!" The murderer says, "Ya! Once your done with it, I'd torture it to death!!" The psycho says, "Once it's dead I would f*ck it till I die!".
The submissive p...

Good news: I recently discovered I was interested in Necrophilia.

Bad news: I'm a submissive bottom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy walks into a bar with 2 sheep, a pillow, and a stone letter 'N'.

Guy walks into a bar with 2 sheep, a pillow, and a stone letter 'N'.
Bartender says, 'what's with all that?'
Disgusted, the man explains, "The pillow is down, the sheep are female and from Thailand, and this letter weighs 16oz and made from the stone of another planet."
Bartender: 'that ...

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