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Stumpy Jokes

One day, old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair...

There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person.

Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that."

Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $...

I went to the library to ask for a book on Tortoises.

The clerk asked, "Hardback?"
"Yes" I said "and leathery legs and a stumpy tail".

What did they call Handy Andy after the accident?

Stumpy.

A dude is in a pretty bad car crash...

He wakes up after a week-long coma. He screams for the doctor...

"Doctor..." says the man, "I can't feel my legs!"

"I know." Replied the doctor, "That's because we cut both of your hands off, stumpy."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time there was a boy with a wooden eye...

At his high school dance he was standing with his friends, too nervous to ask any girls to dance. "I'm afraid they'll make fun of my wooden eye..." he said.

His friend pointed to a girl with a wooden leg standing by herself in the corner, and said, "Hey, see that girl with the wooden leg? ...

Dog fight

A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, "Geez that's a weird dog; he's stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn't have a tail, but I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it."
50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces.

Another dri...

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