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Stephen King Jokes

Hi Reddit! My name is Joseph, and I am the son of Stephen King. AMA!

I would post proof, but it's obvious that I'm Joe King.

Did you know that Stephen King has a son named Joe?

I'm not joking, but he is

I couldn’t follow the storyline of Stephen King’s “It”

Too many Maine characters.

Stephen King's Sons

When Stephen King’s twin sons were born, he had a hard time coming up with names for them. Finally, after several hours of thinking, he managed to pull a couple out of the air.

“I’ll name the first son Joseph, after my great-grandfather.”“Fine, and what about the other one?” His wife asked....

Saw a man in a parking lot throwing Stephen King novels at people

I couldn't figure out why. Then It hit me.

Stephen King

I still think it's weird his most popular book is about Information Technology.

I’ve read my first Stephen King novel

IT was a Maine event

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Good thing Stephen King does not make porn movies

We will never see IT coming

I was walking past a homeless man when he yelled, "Stephen King is my older brother and he stole the ideas for all his novels from me!"

I replied, "Surely you must be Joe."

did you hear about stephen king's book about a killer clown?

he made it.

Please pray for my dumb friend who thinks Stephen King is a documentarian…

He’ll believe ‘It’ when he sees it.

I always find the plots of Stephen King novels easy to follow.

There’s always a Maine character.

Stephen kings writing style is...

Novel.

Touring Stephen King's writing studio

Stephen King is showing a group of students around his writing studio, chaperoned by their aging English teacher. The students are clearly amazed with the items he has on display.

King leans over the desk to pick up a jar to show the children.

“I’m often asked,’ he says with words thi...

Husband: Honey,did Stephen King make you?

Wife: why?
Husband: cause you're shining.

I work a book store and this snobby woman comes in every day asking for the same stupid Stephen King book...

I work a book store and this snobby woman comes in every day asking for the same stupid Stephen King book... And every time she gets rude when I tell her we don't have it.

Finally today I lost my temper and screamed at her to take her entitled attitude and get out of the store. There was some...

Why can't you own just one Stephen King novel?

Because 'Misery' loves company.

2020 is like living in the Stephen King novels The Stand and The Dead Zone at the same time.

If clowns show up next, that’s IT I’m outta here!

I held the record for collecting Stephen King's books.

Then I lost It.

Tina Turner was asked to invest in a rom-com reboot of Stephen King's clown movie

She asked, "what's love got to do with *It*?"

Unlike Stephen King's stories, there is nothing scary about his son

He's been Joe King ever since he was born

So I heard the new Iphone is gonna have that new Stephen King movie preloaded onto it.

Yeah. X is gonna give IT to ya.

The guy that polishes my shoes doesn't enjoy Stephen King's books.

But he's always loved The Shining

I watched a silent film version of Stephen Kings "it" the other day.

It was Shh-it.

Every time I read a Stephen King novel, I get really confused.

Too many Maine characters.

Tom Hanks was recently quoted talking about how much he disliked one of Stephen King's novels.

T. Hanks: I hate It.

Stephen King didn't like my Halloween costume.

I dressed like a clown but he said I was doing it wrong

I wanted to buy a Stephen King book the other day, but I had to buy a second one to go with it

Misery loves company.

What do you call Kim Jong-un reading a Stephen King novel?

Fearless Reader

Whenever we had guests over, my wife would get embarrassed because I have the mind of a child.

In a jar. On the coffee table. (Credit to Stephen King for this one)

I was walking past a movie theater showing "The Black Phone" and some guy standing out front was saying, "Stephen King is my dad and he stole the ideas for all his novels from me!" I said to him...

"Surely you must be Joe."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They asked Stephen King to write a horror story about a gorilla...

He told his publishers that he wanted to write it under his *nom de plume* "Richard Bachman." The problem, he said, was that he'd already written "The Monkey" under his own name. He didn't want people to think this new story was a sequel, or derivative in some way. Legally, since he'd sold the ri...

When people ask me what my favorite Stephen King novel is...

I've said it before and I'll say it again

I'm inviting everyone reading this, to join me in a session to think about Stephen King's iconic shape-shifting clown.

Come to think of it.

Author Joe Hill didn't want anybody to know he was Stephen King's son because he was afraid he wouldn't be taken seriously.

Otherwise, he would be Joe King.

Lately I've noticed a strange fascination shared by everybody that comes over to my house. They can't seem to get enough of this one Stephen King book I have on my shelf.

I guess it's true what they say; company loves Misery.

There's two morons sitting on a bridge, the big one falls off. The other didn't...

He was a little moron


-Stephen King

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex with a prostitute in a clown costume before Stephen King wrote that horror novel.

In a pro pre-It.

A big moron and a little moron were walking along a bridge...

When, suddenly, the big moron fell off and into the river!

Fortunately, the little moron was able to stay on the bridge, if only because he was a little more on.

(Joke credit to Stephen King)

A windmill was spotted at The Dark Tower premier this weekend.

People said it was a huge Stephen King fan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the ground white after Custer's Last Stand?

The Indian's just kept coming and coming....

(I am sure this joke is old as shit, but I credit it to Stephen King's, The Stand. Listening to the audio book today and it made me crack up while driving.)

I met the author of IT yesterday

He told me about the upcoming sequel to the 2018 movie based on the book. Apparently it was called IT chapter 2 and everything. I was stunned, incredulous even. I asked him, "Are you joking?"

He said, "No, I am Stephen King!"

Comic-Con Mysteries Panel

A friend of mine went to Comic-Con in San Diego a few years back, and attended a panel on mystery books and movies. Authors and actors there, a large panel, nearly 20 people. Most of the cast of the Sherlock Holmes movies and a few Agatha Christie adaptation were there. One of the audience members a...

A man has been unemployed for a long time...

finally, with the release of Stephen King's remade 'It', he gets a job posting huge billboards around the city. After some weeks however the movie was slumping, so in a desperate effort for publicity, the advertisers sent the man back out with crimson paint and a paint brush and told to give all the...

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