A small town lawyer called his first witness to the stand in a trial, a 80 year old woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Singh, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Kulkarni. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not kn...
An old man in stalinist russia gets newspapers every day from the stand like clockwork.
He always turns straight to one page, and thereafter throws the paper in the bin.
Curious, the vendor one day asks him, "what are you looking at in those papers every day huh?"
The man replies, "the obituaries."
The vendor asks, "so how come you only ever look at one page of th...
A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand
Quack
A lawyer is cross-examining a doctor on the stand.
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Doctor: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Doctor: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Doctor: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was ...
On the way to a conference, a revered scientist is talking to his chauffeur
The driver asks him:
"–Boss, I've driven you around the country for over 10 years. I've listened to your talks, hundreds of times. I am pretty sure I know everything by heart now. Would you like to make a bet?
—What kind of bet?
—We look alike. You've never talked in this city. ...
2020 is like living in the Stephen King novels The Stand and The Dead Zone at the same time.
If clowns show up next, that’s IT I’m outta here!
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