Sql Jokes - 10 Hilarious Sql Jokes

How does a SQL expert get a date?

getDate()

^(I really hope this doesn't do well, so cheap, so stupid, just had to write it when I thought of it)

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Three relational databases walk into a NoSql bar. They left after 5 mins....

They couldn't find a table!

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I saw a great movie about databases today.

I can't wait for the SQL

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[Walks into a bar] An SQL query walks into a bar.

Looking around, he sees a pair of tables. Going up to them, he asks, "Excuse me, but do you mind if I join you?"

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A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud toward him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefu...

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Why does Pennywise make such a horrible SQL database architect?

He tries to cast all the data to float.

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SQL and Oracle walk into a NoSQL bar...

They waited around for 25 minutes but then had to leave. They couldn't find a table.

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Did you see the movie about a database query?

I heard the SQL is better.

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I'm planning to make a film series on databases.

I've got the first part ready, but I can't think of a SQL.

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Did you hear they're making a Source Code 2?

It's gonna be called Source Code: The SQL!

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