A SQL query goes to the bar, walks up to two tables

"Can I join you?"

How does a SQL expert get a date?

getDate()


^(I really hope this doesn't do well, so cheap, so stupid, just had to write it when I thought of it)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't Nazis use SQL?

Because it can only join left.

Why does Pennywise make such a horrible SQL database architect?

He tries to cast all the data to float.

3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.

A little while later, they walked out... Because they couldn't find a table.

I saw a great movie about databases today.

I can't wait for the SQL

SQL and Oracle walk into a NoSQL bar...

They waited around for 25 minutes but then had to leave. They couldn't find a table.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Government

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy,...

Breakups are the best excuse.

Your friends want to go out to that restaurant you hate?

Just look sad and say: “My girlfriend and I used to love going there...”

Boom, nobody wants to go anymore. Pity works wonders.

Your boss asks you at stay late Friday night?

Look sad and say: “My girlfriend and I use...

I'm planning to make a film series on databases.

I've got the first part ready, but I can't think of a SQL.

Did you hear they're making a Source Code 2?

It's gonna be called Source Code: The SQL!

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