A SQL query goes to a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...

Can I join you?

I saw a great movie about databases today.

I can't wait for the SQL

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jack is a cowboy working on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming.

One day as he’s overseeing the livestock on the ranch a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances towards him creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process

The car stops and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie. He steps out of the car and...

How does a SQL expert get a date?

getDate()


^(I really hope this doesn't do well, so cheap, so stupid, just had to write it when I thought of it)

Why does Pennywise make such a horrible SQL database architect?

He tries to cast all the data to float.

SQL

Three SQL databases walk into a bar... then they leave. Why?


They couldn't find a table.

My friend is working on a website and told me he wanted to use MySQL.

Why can't he just use HisOwnSQL?

Breakups are the best excuse.

Your friends want to go out to that restaurant you hate?

Just look sad and say: “My girlfriend and I used to love going there...”

Boom, nobody wants to go anymore. Pity works wonders.

Your boss asks you at stay late Friday night?

Look sad and say: “My girlfriend and I use...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you a call a homosexual really good at SQL?

A queery

I'm planning to make a film series on databases.

I've got the first part ready, but I can't think of a SQL.

Did you hear they're making a Source Code 2?

It's gonna be called Source Code: The SQL!

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