UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the hardest part of being an anti-vax parent?

Scraping those stick family decals off your rear window.

Only anti-vax people will get this one

measles

I shouldn't make jokes at the expense of my anti-vax neighbours so much...

They tend to get offended by those hurtful little jabs

I have a lot of anti-vax jokes

In my family

What do schools and the anti-vax movement have in common?

Both are raising the world’s average IQ

If An Anti-Vax Kid Had a Theme Song, What Would it Be?

The Final Countdown

What disease are anti-vax kids immune to?

Adulthood. I hope this isn't taken.

I love hearing jokes about anti-vax kids

They never get old.

What's the only truly accurate way to determine if someone's been vaxed against Coivd-19?

Ask them who won the election.

Anti-vax jokes are like anti-vax kids,

They were great for a year or two, but they should be dead by now.

I'm anti - vax

I just don't think thier brand of vacuums are as good as the competition.

What language do anti vax kids speak in?

Ouija board

What do you call an Anti-Vax Child minder? - Mrs Doubt Pfizer

It's only a joke.

I'm surprised there are so many anti-vax politicians in America

Because most American politicians don't seem to care if kids get shot.

My Anti-Vax neighbor's one year old son is so annoying.

He cries all the time, seems like he is going through a midlife crisis.

Dark Humour is like anti-vax families

There’s usually a dead baby.

What did the anti-vax kid wanna grow up to be?

Alive

I'm a proud anti-vax mother of 4 beautiful children

Edit: 3 beautiful children

Edit: 2 children

What do batteries and anti-vax kids have in common

The people who make them always say they last longer than they actually do.

Anti-Vax Moms

Aren't for long.

What's an anti vax kids favorite game?

Marco polio

What do anti-vax kids and my memes have in common?

they both die in new

I’m an Anti-vax and I don’t care what you think.

They are absolutely the worst brand of vacuum cleaner. Dyson all the way for me!

Why did the four year old anti vax kid cry?

Because he was in his midlife crisis.

I told my ex to join the anti-vax community.

Clearly, he needs to be surrounding by other people who don’t last long.

The funny thing about anti-vax jokes is that...

they tend to be older than anti-vax kids!

There's a anti vax kids only summer camp

It's called the cemetery

Top 5 anti-vax excuses, interpreted for gamers

Excuse #5: "I like to play life with the default biological settings".

Excuse #4: "I like to take my chances and play it on extreme difficulty, just like old school style."

Excuse #3: "Pay to win? Eww."

Excuse #2: "I'll rather die than pay for DLC."

Excuse #1: "I swe...

I’m an Anti-vax and I don’t care what you think.

I’m sick and tired of seeing people who are anti-vax getting bullied on social media. We have good reasons to feel this way and simply bad mouthing us or attacking us is not going to change our mind. We will not be silenced.

I for sure will never have one again. No chance, no matter what you ...

My parents raised me anti-Vax.

They always preferred Dyson.

Why did the Anti vax person avoid college parties?

There were way too many shots going around.

Anti-vax mom: Doctor, my baby won't stop crying!

Doctor: He's just going through a mid-life crisis.

Good jokes are like anti vax kids

They come in many shapes and sizes, normally created by people that have less-than-average intelligence, and most importantly never gets old

How many anti-vax adults does it take to change a light bulb?

Both of them.

An anti-vax woman marries a rich chinese businessman

Later on, the woman gives birth to a healthy baby boy. However, shortly after the baby's 1st birthday, he died.
During the funeral, people noticed that the mother kept muttering to herself as she cried.

While lowering the casket, the mother kept shouting: "I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! OH, I SHOU...

I tried to talk to my anti-vax friend the other day

Unfortunately the Oijia board wasn’t working

Anti-vax jokes are like measles.

Much funnier if someone else gets them.

What does a responsible bartender and anti-vax mum have in common?

Neither give shots to children.

Whats an Anti-Vax's kid favorite tv show?

The walking dead

What do you get an anti-vax kid for their 5th birthday?

A whooping-coffin

A bunch of anti-vax moms went to a bar

They all got shots

What is anti-vax parent's favourite song lyrics?

Swish, swish, bish

Another one in the casket

An anti-vax mom is at a cashier

"you should give me a discount! It's my son's 3rd birthday", She says

The cashier then replied "in that case, I'll apply the senior discount"

Why was the new born baby crying in his anti vax mom hands

He was having a mid life crisis

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does the Anti-Vax community and a clogged toilet have in common?

Both will leave you waist deep in shit if you tend to ignore them.

An anti-vax mom walks in on her son self vaccinating.

And she says that better be heroin !

Im gonna tell some jokes about birthdays to this anti vax kid

But i guess he wont get many of them tbh

My anti-vax sister wouldn’t let me take my niece trick-or-treating, even though she had the perfect Halloween costume.

Stupid cemetery rules.

Did you hear the one about the anti-vax mom?

Neither did her kid.

Anti-vax mother: "Doctor, I am not going to vaccinate my child. Should I take any precautions?"

Doctor: "Yes. Don't get too attached to him."

As much as I like jokes about anti-vax kids, I don't think they'll be around for much longer...

The kids I mean, not the jokes

An anti-vax mom and a flat-earther dad were having a friendly chat with their neighbor

The neighbor says, "Well I have to go but send my best wishes to the kids. Tell them I hope they can shoot for the moon."

The mom rather embarrassed says, "I'm sorry... In our family we don't allow shots at the moon."

After dying the anti-vaxxer meets God. "God, please tell me who is behind the conspiracy to give people autism with vaccines?"

"Nobody," says God. "There is no conspiracy, and vaccines do no cause autism."

"THEY GOT TO YOU TOO?! HOW FAR UP DOES THIS GO?!"

You guys may not agree with me but I personally believe that anti-vax kids will make it to 20

2020 that is

Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum."

They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"

It's ironic...

Most anti-vax mothers are actually vaccinated.

Which, depending on what you believe, might explain their autism.

It's nice to see the homeless take covid seriously.

I saw one getting vaxed under the overpass three times this week.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Several years after having kids, two guys are sitting in a bar and one finally gets the courage to ask the other why he's Anti-Vax.

The Anti-Vaxxer takes only a second to look around the bar, making sure no one can hear, and finally leans in real close and says:

"I'm not, my kid's just a fuckin' dickhead."

Today is my 5th cake day

And that means my Reddit account is older than most anti-vax kids ever will be.

I find it really awkward that my Grandparents named my Dad's sister "Vaccine"...

I'm embarrassed to tell people that she's Auntie Vax.

I met with a girl on Tinder that said she was Anti-Vaxx

I told her it was amazing, I too am Pro abortion at any time.

A blond is returning to US from Brazil lifts her skirt at US inmigration

officer: thank you mam, it looks really nice but I think you got confused between vax and wax

[OC] I'm gonna name my daughter Vaccine...

That way she will have to explain to her nieces and nephews why she is Auntie Vax.

Just A Funny Nothing else

What’s a video game title you can also call an anti-vax
Kid?



Half-Life

So you've probably heard

So you've probably heard the Brazilian variant of COVID is a bit more infectious than what we have here up north.

Don't worry, I hear things are going to clear up a lot down south when they get a Brazilian Vax.

What’s the best anti-aging treatment?

Anti-vax.

Why are vaccinated kids most likley to get autism?

because all of the anti-vax kids are dead.

What is the fastest dying meme of all time?

Anti-vax children

How to abort a new born child?

Simple! Become an anti vax parent.

Anti vaxxing children

Anti vax children aren’t stupid, they just prefer free trials. Of everything. Including life.

Tennis ace Novak Djokovic has refused to take the Coronavirus vaccines

He's now known as Novax Djokovic

Marco? Polio!

Ok now all the anti-vax people ran away, there's a huge party at my house and you are all invited!

People give anti-vaxxers a hard time, but they gave us one important thing...

A control group for our studies confirming that vaccines do not cause autism.

The Generic Ethnic Joke

A person belonging to an ethnic group whose members are commonly considered to have certain stereotypical mannerisms met another person belonging to a different ethnic group with a different set of imputed stereotypical mannerisms. The first person acted in a manner consistent with the stereotypes ...

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