What's the only truly accurate way to determine if someone's been vaxed against Coivd-19?

Ask them who won the election.

I have a lot of anti-vax jokes

In my family

What do schools and the anti-vax movement have in common?

Both are raising the world’s average IQ

What language do anti vax kids speak in?

Ouija board

What did the anti-vax kid wanna grow up to be?


I'm really not worried about anti-vaxxers.....

It's a dying movement.

I’m an Anti-vax and I don’t care what you think.

I’m sick and tired of seeing people who are anti-vax getting bullied on social media. We have good reasons to feel this way and simply bad mouthing us or attacking us is not going to change our mind. We will not be silenced.

I for sure will never have one again. No chance, no matter what you ...

My Anti-Vax neighbor's one year old son is so annoying.

He cries all the time, seems like he is going through a midlife crisis.

I'm anti - vax

I just don't think thier brand of vacuums are as good as the competition.

What do you call a cleaning lady who is anti-vax?

Mrs. DoubtPfizer

I’m an Anti-vax and I don’t care what you think.

They are absolutely the worst brand of vacuum cleaner. Dyson all the way for me!

What do anti-vax kids and my memes have in common?

they both die in new

After dying the anti-vaxxer meets God. "God, please tell me who is behind the conspiracy to give people autism with vaccines?"

"Nobody," says God. "There is no conspiracy, and vaccines do no cause autism."


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the hardest part of being an anti-vax parent?

Scraping those stick family decals off your rear window.

What disease are anti-vax kids immune to?

Adulthood. I hope this isn't taken.

What is an Anti-Vaxxer's favourite movie?

Mrs. Doubt-Pfizer

How many anti-vax adults does it take to change a light bulb?

Both of them.

A year after historic protests...

white, anti-vax Republicans are finally saying “I can’t breathe”.

Why did the four year old anti vax kid cry?

Because he was in his midlife crisis.

I love hearing jokes about anti-vax kids

They never get old.

I'm a proud anti-vax mother of 4 beautiful children

Edit: 3 beautiful children

Edit: 2 children

What do batteries and anti-vax kids have in common

The people who make them always say they last longer than they actually do.

I told my ex to join the anti-vax community.

Clearly, he needs to be surrounding by other people who don’t last long.

Dark Humour is like anti-vax families

There’s usually a dead baby.

If An Anti-Vax Kid Had a Theme Song, What Would it Be?

The Final Countdown

Today Is My Cake Day

And that means my Reddit account is older than most anti-vax kids will ever be


More like Anti-fax amirite

Only anti-vax people will get this one


So an Anti Vax kid was playing in the pool...



What game do anti-vax children love playing?

Marko Polio

[OC] I'm gonna name my daughter Vaccine...

That way she will have to explain to her nieces and nephews why she is Auntie Vax.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does the Anti-Vax community and a clogged toilet have in common?

Both will leave you waist deep in shit if you tend to ignore them.

What does a responsible bartender and anti-vax mum have in common?

Neither give shots to children.

Anti-vax mom: Doctor, my baby won't stop crying!

Doctor: He's just going through a mid-life crisis.

There's a anti vax kids only summer camp

It's called the cemetery

I tried to talk to my anti-vax friend the other day

Unfortunately the Oijia board wasn’t working

Anti-vax mother: "Doctor, I am not going to vaccinate my child. Should I take any precautions?"

Doctor: "Yes. Don't get too attached to him."

A bunch of anti-vax moms went to a bar

They all got shots

Why was the new born baby crying in his anti vax mom hands

He was having a mid life crisis

I'm surprised there are so many anti-vax politicians in America

Because most American politicians don't seem to care if kids get shot.

What do you get an anti-vax kid for their 5th birthday?

A whooping-coffin

My anti-vax sister wouldn’t let me take my niece trick-or-treating, even though she had the perfect Halloween costume.

Stupid cemetery rules.

The funny thing about anti-vax jokes is that...

they tend to be older than anti-vax kids!

Anti-vax jokes are like anti-vax kids,

They were great for a year or two, but they should be dead by now.

Top 5 anti-vax excuses, interpreted for gamers

Excuse #5: "I like to play life with the default biological settings".

Excuse #4: "I like to take my chances and play it on extreme difficulty, just like old school style."

Excuse #3: "Pay to win? Eww."

Excuse #2: "I'll rather die than pay for DLC."

Excuse #1: "I swe...

My neighbors are anti-vax

and all summer I heard their kids playing in their pool:



As much as I like jokes about anti-vax kids, I don't think they'll be around for much longer...

The kids I mean, not the jokes

What is anti-vax parent's favourite song lyrics?

Swish, swish, bish

Another one in the casket

Whats an Anti-Vax's kid favorite tv show?

The walking dead

How do I kill my family and strangers without committing a crime?

Vax evasion

Did y'all hear about the Anti-vax kid who bought a Ferrari at the age of 2?

Yeah, it was his midlife crisis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Several years after having kids, two guys are sitting in a bar and one finally gets the courage to ask the other why he's Anti-Vax.

The Anti-Vaxxer takes only a second to look around the bar, making sure no one can hear, and finally leans in real close and says:

"I'm not, my kid's just a fuckin' dickhead."

You guys may not agree with me but I personally believe that anti-vax kids will make it to 20

2020 that is

An anti-vax mom and a flat-earther dad were having a friendly chat with their neighbor

The neighbor says, "Well I have to go but send my best wishes to the kids. Tell them I hope they can shoot for the moon."

The mom rather embarrassed says, "I'm sorry... In our family we don't allow shots at the moon."

Im gonna tell some jokes about birthdays to this anti vax kid

But i guess he wont get many of them tbh

An anti-vax woman marries a rich chinese businessman

Later on, the woman gives birth to a healthy baby boy. However, shortly after the baby's 1st birthday, he died.
During the funeral, people noticed that the mother kept muttering to herself as she cried.

While lowering the casket, the mother kept shouting: "I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! OH, I SHOU...

My parents raised me anti-Vax.

They always preferred Dyson.

Anti-Vax Moms

Aren't for long.

An anti-vax mom is at a cashier

"you should give me a discount! It's my son's 3rd birthday", She says

The cashier then replied "in that case, I'll apply the senior discount"

An anti-vax mom walks in on her son self vaccinating.

And she says that better be heroin !

What do call a sick anti vax’s kid dancing

Sicko mode

Anti-vax jokes are like measles.

Much funnier if someone else gets them.

Who saved Rome from the plague?

Emperor Vax-a-million

Just A Funny Nothing else

What’s a video game title you can also call an anti-vax


So you've probably heard

So you've probably heard the Brazilian variant of COVID is a bit more infectious than what we have here up north.

Don't worry, I hear things are going to clear up a lot down south when they get a Brazilian Vax.

Only Anti-vaxxers will get this


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The tale of timmy.

When little Timmy went to school,
and Mastered one to nine,
He thought the other kids were cool,
and every class divine.
He painted shapes in red and blue,
and drew in curves and bends,
and by the time the day was through,
he'd made a hundred friends!
I'm pals...

Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum."

They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"

People give anti-vaxxers a hard time, but they gave us one important thing...

A control group for our studies confirming that vaccines do not cause autism.

After a Coronavirus vaccine is developed

anti-vax people would need to make a very interesting choice

It's ironic...

Most anti-vax mothers are actually vaccinated.

Which, depending on what you believe, might explain their autism.

What do a calendar and a non vaxxed kid have in common?

Their days are numbered.

I met with a girl on Tinder that said she was Anti-Vaxx

I told her it was amazing, I too am Pro abortion at any time.

What’s the best anti-aging treatment?


Why are vaccinated kids most likley to get autism?

because all of the anti-vax kids are dead.

What can get disease and will never live past 4?

A guinea pig you vaccine loving autist!

Btw I’m pro vax just thought this was funny.

Anti vaxxing children

Anti vax children aren’t stupid, they just prefer free trials. Of everything. Including life.

What do you call an elementary school dropout?

An anti-vax child.

Marco? Polio!

Ok now all the anti-vax people ran away, there's a huge party at my house and you are all invited!

How to abort a new born child?

Simple! Become an anti vax parent.

What is the fastest dying meme of all time?

Anti-vax children

Why can't an anti vaxxer be against abortion?

You can't be anti-vax and pro-life at the same time.

The Generic Ethnic Joke

A person belonging to an ethnic group whose members are commonly considered to have certain stereotypical mannerisms met another person belonging to a different ethnic group with a different set of imputed stereotypical mannerisms. The first person acted in a manner consistent with the stereotypes ...

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