Software Developer Jokes - 25 Hilarious Software Developer Jokes

Two software developers

So, there were two friends who had worked together as software developers for a long time. One day, one of them died of a heart attack. The night after the funeral, the remaining guy had a dream in which his dead friend told him that he had two pieces of news - one good and one bad. The good news wa...

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A software developer walks into a pub

A software developer walks into a pub:

Runs into a pub,

Crawls into a pub,

Dances into a pub,

flies into a pub,

and orders:

1 Beer

2 Beers

"qwertyuiop" Beers

Beers

\-1 Beers

Content, he leaves

A customer walks in and...

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What does the software developer say when he gives someone an STD?

Uh-oh, I deployed a bug.

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What is the best advice for new software developers?

Google it.

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Why can’t software developers distinguish between Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 == DEC 25

(hint: octal and decimal are numerical bases 8 and 10 respectively, happy holidays!)

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This new software developer is so socially awkward …

… he failed the Turing Test.

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A Software Developer walks into a bar

A Software Developer walks into a bar

Bartender: "you having the usual?"

Software Developer thinks for a while
and then says "Yes"

Bartender: "What took you so long to answer?"

Software Developer: "Sorry, I got cache issues."

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Why do most software developers need glasses?

Because they can't C#

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My software developer candidate brought his pet to the interview

He produced perfectly valid Python.

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How does a software developer call the sunrise?

Sunget

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How many software developers does it take to fix a light bulb?

none, its a hardware issue.

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A software developer dies and comes to the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter looks at the screen of his PC and says: "Sorry, I cannot let you in. There are bugs in the enrollment system and since you are a software developer, you must fix them first."

So the software developer takes a seat at St. Peter's desk and tries to fix the bugs for hours and hours, ...

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Shortest joke a software developer can tell:

“I’ll be ready soon.”

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Why did the software developer go broke?

He used up all his cache !

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My software developer friends tell me to stop exposing them to COVID-19 jokes...

.. but I tell them it's the best way to achieve nerd immunity.

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A mechanic, an electrician and a software developer were in a car.

The car stops working.

-It's the carburetor, says the mechanic. We just have to get down and clean it.

-It's the ignition, says the electrician. We have to check the spark plugs and we'll make it work.

-"Guys, I propose getting out of the car and getting back in and maybe it wi...

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How can you tell when a Software Developer is an extrovert ?

He looks at *your* shoes when he's talking to you.

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Why do software developers always say 'it works on my machine'?

It's a regular expression.

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A software developer claims to have written a condition that detects items larger than medium size.

Big if true.

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What did the wheelchair-bound software developer say when asked to speak at an Apple Keynote?

"Sorry, but I don't do stand-up comedy."

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What do you call a software developer who's also a gynecologist?

Front-end

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A Woman sends her husband - a software developer - out for groceries.

She says to him: "We don't need a lot. Please get us a loaf of bread; and if they have free-range eggs please bring six."

The husband returns with nothing but six loaves of bread: "They had free-range eggs."

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If software developers made cars

They would cost $500, get 200 miles per gallon, and once a year would explode. Killing everyone inside.

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Attorney at law

Saying you're an attorney at law is like saying you're a software developer at programming or that you're a policeman at racism

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I'm so good at programming I don't even need to test before I ship code.

Sent my program last week and haven't heard of any problems since!

Signed,
Richard
Junior Helicopter Auto-Pilot Software Developer

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