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Snob Jokes

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A wealthy snob walks into a bar

The snob asks the bartender for a 12-year-old Scotch. The bartender serves him, but the snob spits it out. "Hey, what are you trying to pull? I know my scotch, and this isn't 12-year-old, it's 5-year old!"

The bartender apologizes "Sorry, sir, we really don't have much demand here for 12 y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think my dog is a snob.

I try to bathe her with shampoo, but I know she prefers the real shit.

What do you call an East African prince who’s also a wine snob?

A sommelier Somali heir

My music snob friend told me that The Doors had a lacklustre rhythm section. I asked him why he would say that, and he just shrugged his shoulders.

I told him I’m sick of hearing these bassless accusations.

Why do techno snobs love acid and ketamine so much?

Cuz they can't get over their high horse without tripping.

What do you call a group of snob comedians?

r/Jokes

My wife, she's such a snob!

She got Covid 20

Why are drone pilots considered snobs?

Because they look down on everyone.

Why was the craft beer snob sad?

He had saisonal depression.

What does the pretentious snob with amnesia say?

Do you know who I am?

Food snobs

"May I take your order? " the waiter asked.
"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens? "
"Nothing special sir," he replied. "We just tell them straight out that they're going to die. "

What does ISIS call wine snobs?

Zinfandels!!!!!!

I'm not saying my wife's a snob

but even her colostomy bag is a Louis Vuitton.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Southern Belle and snobby New York socialite meet at a swanky party.

The southern belle says, “How nice to meet you! Where are y’all from?”

The snob sniffs and says, “I am from a place where we do not end our sentences with a preposition.”

So the belle says, “Oh, I’m so sorry. Where are y’all from, *bitch*?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Personalities

1) Polite - farts and says "Pardon!"

2) Cynic - Farts while looking you directly in the eyes

3) Chivalrous - lets the lady fart first

4) Gourmand - Farts for his own pleasure

5) Sentimental - Farts and says "Oh..."

6) Idealist - farts out of conviction

7) C...

Argon walks into a bar

The bartender looks up angrily, yelling at him, "Get out! We don't take stuck up snobs like you!"

Argon doesn't react.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A snobbish English teacher was sitting in an airport in the South waiting on her flight back to New York, when

a young southern girl sat down next to her. "Where y'all goin' to?" she asked the teacher.

Turning her nose in the air, the snob replied, "I don't answer people who end their sentences with prepositions."

The young lady thought a moment and replied, "Where y'all goin' to, *bitch*?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A birthday gift for a friend

I have a buddy who is a bit of a beer snob. For his 30th birthday, he asked for a six pack with a matching pint glass from each of his friends. I decided I would drive a couple hours to pick up his gift from his new favorite brewery (which happened to also be my new favorite brewery.)

I had t...

Church bake sale

Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies Group bake sale in Tuscaloosa, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.

She remembered it the morning of the bake sale, and after rummaging through cabinets she found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying ...

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