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Smears Jokes

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What do you call someone who smears their poop on the walls?

A shartist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate when my massage therapist smears the lotion counter-clockwise.

She really rubs me the wrong way.

An American, a Frenchman and a Russian make a bet about who'll manage to make a cat eat mustard.

The American grabs the cat and shoves the mustards down its throat.

\- What are you doing? - they shout at him. - This is violence!

The Frenchman put the mustard between two pieces of sausage, the cat eats them.

\- What are you doing - they shout at him. - This is deception!
...

What do you call it when you keep wiping but brown still shows?

The Trail of Smears

A fascist, liberal, and communist start arguing who’s got a better ideology

To settle their argument, they decide to see whose ideology can make a cat eat mustard.

Fascist takes a spoonful of mustard and forcefully shoves it down the cat’s throat.

Liberal puts mustard between two pieces of tasty meat and thus tricks the cat into eating it.

Communist sme...

Drunk On A Bus

A very drunk man gets on a bus and stumbles into the seat next to a priest. His tie is stained, his face is covered in lipstick smears and a half full bottle of scotch is sticking out his coat pocket.

He opens his newspaper and starts to read, but after a few minutes turns to the priest and a...

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A cowboy walks into a bar...

A cowboy walks his horse up to a bar, dismounts, hitches it, and then he walks around the horse, lifts up the tail and sticks his finger in the horse's .  The bar keep notices this and soon everyone in the bar is watching through the window. He then takes the befouled finger and smears the excrem...

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Another little Timmy joke

Little Timmy is at home, waiting for his grandparents to come for Thanksgiving.

He's really bored, so he decides to go scare his mother. He sneaks into her bathroom and yells 'BOO'. Lipstick smears across her face as she jumps and she screams ''.

Timmy looks at his mom and asks 'M...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Awkward Dinner Party

A young child was enjoying a cool drink in his room when he heard noises coming from his parents room. He proceeded to the room, wherein he found his parents arguing. His father called his mother a and his mother called his father a . Later on that day he asked his mother, "mummy what d...
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