UPJOKE
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Slobbery Jokes

Girl: wow, that was some slobbery kiss!

Guy: not at all. I just have a bad cold.

Jess loved to date musicians

One night, she has a date with a trumpeter. When she returned home, her housemate asked 'So was the trumpeter a potential keeper?'


'No' replied Jess 'His lips were so tight and dry. He was no fun to kiss'


The next night, she has a date with a tubist. Again, Jess returns hom...

I was at McDonalds earlier today, just chilling when a really hot, girl walked up to me.

She grabbed me and took me to her car. She ripped my clothes off and starts sucking me as if she's dying of thirst. She sucked long and slobbery and I let out a huge load. She looked up with the face of satisfaction.

Then I realised I'm a straw.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was making an apple pie and realised I was missing an important ingredient. [long]

I got a rather verbose birthday card some time back containing a story - this is my retelling of it:

I was making an apple pie and realised I was missing an important ingredient.

Unfortunately, I was up to my elbows in sticky mixture and didn't really want to have to go through the faf...

Band Jokes!

I'm a band geek and love terrible band jokes. Here are some of my favorites!

How do you get two piccolos to play in tune? Shoot one.

What is the best use for a clarinet? Kindling.

What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower? You can tune a lawn mower.

What...

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