He asks for a glass of Whiskey, but the bartender refuses and says: "I won't serve you, you can't hold your alcohol."
A man goes into a restaurant with his pet snake.
He seats himself at a table, and his snake slithers up onto the seat next to him. Soon, a waitress comes to take his order.
The man declares, "I want 25 hamburgers- two for me and 23 for my pet snake here."
The waitress leaves, and 20 minutes later returns with two plates. On the man's...
A Baby Snake Slithers Up To His Dad...
And says "Dad, what kind of snake are we? Are we chokers or are we biters?"
"Why do you need to know that?", the daddy snake replies.
"Because I've just bit my tounge..."
An Onix slithers into a bar
"That's Onix-pected" muses the bartender.
A snake slithers into a bar
The snake winds it way up to the counter, coils its loops over the bar stool, and orders a double martini. The bartender places it before the snake, who extends a scaly coil, only to knock the drink off and dash it to pieces on the floor.
With deliberate patience, the bartender pours a second...
A snail slithers into a Ferrari dealership...
He drops a suitcase full of cash on the salesman desk and says "I want your most powerful Ferrari, bright red, and then paint the letter S all over it. The next day the snail comes to pick up his new custom Ferrari, and the salesman says "I have to ask, why all the S's on your new car?"
The ...
A Tourist is Trudging Through Australia's Desert
A tourist is trudging through Australia’s Great Victoria Desert. …
He’s completely lost, and he’s quickly running out of water. His vision is rather impaired, and he can tell that he’s only got a few more hours before he’ll pass out.
Suddenly, he accidentally steps on a rattlesnake! Be...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A pigeon, a snake, and a bear are debating
"See that family over there," the pigeon says, looking at a happy family at a park, "I can go over to their picnic and get the humans to give food."
The snake and bear give a laugh. "We can all get food," they say. "No," the pigeon dictates, "I can get them to give me food in a more creative ...
Three men walk into a party.
The first man beelines toward a table with a bowl of punch. The second man closely follows. A few people are ahead of them so while they wait the first man turns to the second man and asks:
"Have you ever heard the one about the garden gnome?"
The second man replies "No, not that I can...
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