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When a drunk man enters the house, he takes off his shoes and starts tiptoeing so that he doesn't wake his wife.

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays in the bar until it closes at 2 A.M., at which time he is extremely drunk.

When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tiptoeing up the stairs. Halfway up the stairs, he f...

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A man is with his best friend at a local pub

He looks at his watch, raises his eyebrows, and groans, "Oh shit, not again!"

"Why? What's the matter, chum?" asks the second man

"It's already 2AM, my wife's gonna kill me; she always knows when I get home too late." the first man exclaims

"I thought Brenda sleeps e...

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One I heard at the pub yesterday [NSFW]

One evening after dinner, a little kid walks up to his father and goes: "Dad! Dad! Some of the other kids were talking and they were saying how 'cunt' and 'vagina' mean the same thing! What is a cunt-vagina? Are they the same thing"

The dad raises a finger to his lips and says. "Go to your r...

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A North Pole story of Christmas traditions

It was not shaping up to be a Merry Christmas at the North Pole. Mr. Claus was buttoning his suspenders when an angel popped in out of nowhere, yelling "HEY SANTA!". That caused his fingers to lose grip, and the whole thing snapped him in the eye.

When he got out to the elves, they were all g...

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