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Shaker Jokes

Garlic powder $5.99. Steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99.

Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless

Jesus paid Saint Peter a visit at the pearly gates

“How’s it going, Pete?”

“Kinda weird. Just had this nice older guy with a guitar come in, he said he was looking for a lost shaker of salt.

I said I don’t know where it is, but I thought I saw Mary Magdalene with one. He then just chuckled, said 'I knew it!' and walked away shaking h...

Pepper and salt shakers.

True story - happened at a restaurant this afternoon with my 4 year old daughter L.


L, pointing to the stainless steel shakers: How do you know which is salt and which is pepper?

Me: Look at the holes on top. If it is the letter S, it's salt. If it is the letter P, it's pepper.
...

What was the pepper shaker arrested for?

A salt

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Probably the grossest joke I've ever heard.

late one evening a guy is closing up the restaurant he works at. He's sweeping floors and wiping tables, when there's a knock at the door. He opens the door and standing there is the filthiest bum he's ever seen. The bum says, "say fella, could you give me a fork?" Well the guy figures, what the hel...

I got arrested the other day for throwing a battery at my wife and hitting her favorite salt shaker instead

They charged me for a salt and battery.

Just found out one of the ladies who sang "Push It" has Parkinson's

She's a Salt-N-Pepa shaker now

What do you call a professional mover with Parkinson’s disease?

A mover and a shaker

Happy anniversary

On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself.

"How romantic!" she thought.

Two-and-a-hal...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a paedophile with Parkinson's

assault shaker

An old man is sitting on a park bench

Next to him is a large salt shaker and a bag filled with a bunch of bananas. Periodically the old man takes out a banana, carefully peals it, salts it with the shaker, grimaces, then throws it away in a nearby trashcan.

A woman observes him do this with several bananas and after a while final...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly couple sought help from a Sex Therapist.

They both told the therapist how much they both missed "that spark" that they had early in their relationship. The therapist asked some more general questions and give them a "homework" assignment before their next session. The couple happily went on their way and returned next week. The therapist t...

What job are rude epileptics well suited for?

Salt shakers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Returning from the men's room, a bar customer was shaking his head.

Returning from the men's room, a bar customer was shaking his head.


"What's the matter?" inquired the bartender.


"While I was in the bathroom back there, I noticed among the scribbling on the wall, and one that said: *WENDY GIVES REALLY FABULOUS HEAD - ABSOLUTELY THE GREATE...

I regularly mess with the owner of the restaurant across the road.

I myself am a restaurant owner and regularly go into the restaurant across the street to mess with the owners head.

It started out small, changing the salt in the salt shakers for sugar. Removing the labels from tin cans so they wouldn’t know what’s in them. During this whole time the owner ...

A coke dealer is waiting for a customer at a diner

the customer sits down, slides over the money, the dealer slides over a bag of white powder. At that moment the cops burst in to arrest the dealer and the buyer. The dealer quickly says "it's just some caster sugar to put on his pie", a cop doesn't believe him and checks the white powder, it is inde...

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